May 24 will be a historical day from now on. Saturn died aged 84. No, the planet is in good health. It was an alligator, probably the most coveted pet in history that outlived his alleged master, Adolf Hitler. The first thing I did when my attention was drawn to the small news item (that mentioned some myth about the animal being in the ‘collection’ of Hitler and not a specimen at Berlin Zoo) was to check how the animal looked. Did he grow a wisdom beard over all these years? Were the multiple folds of his skin dangling from his lower jaw gave him a look of a haggard who basked in his perverse indolence? He looked normal.
The second thing I did was to check how long can alligators live and a Google search replied “between 30 and 75 years”. Owls apparently live for less than 30 years. If years make animals wiser (that is what humans claim), then we should change the axiom ‘wise owl’ to ‘wise alligator’ (elephants too can be entitled to wisdom). Saturn has seen the world, from Berlin to Moscow, through Snell’s window as well as outside of it. He must have been traumatised by the overwater insanity of 1943 which is when he escaped from Berlin Zoo that was bombed.
Saturn was only seven when he had to witness the spectre of war. He went incognito for three long years, probably wandering from one water body to the other, losing his mental stability, and mourning and shedding tears (does the adage ‘crocodile tears’ apply here?) for the Fuhrer.
He was finally captivated by British soldiers in 1946 and sent to Soviet Zoo, which was a good decision as Stalin would have had his orgasmic moments torturing the poor creature for the sins and betrayal of his master. I am sure the myth about Saturn belonging to Hitler was started by the frustrated British soldiers who missed their medal-winning chance of capturing the dictator alive. In that case, the alligator sadly turned into a political scapegoat.
But time changed and so did dictatorship, well apparently, and animal activists became audible. So I am hoping that Saturn had a better life in his evening days. At 84, he grew a wise animal and probably sensitive enough to understand the upheavals in a new world. I wonder what would he tell Hitler when he meets him in afterlife. I am sure it would be a long conversation after years of separation. I just imagined an abridged version.
Saturn: Helloooo, master! I missed you so much.
Hitler: Hello, welcome to the other side. I missed you too. After you, I could not find the right pet… ahem… companion who could match my intellect and greed.
Saturn (whispers): Ambition would be a positive alternative to ‘greed’. (Aloud) The world has changed for worse after you.
Hitler: I know as I keep a constant watch on the philistines who are ruining the world bit by bit. Another world war would be a better idea to finish the nincompoops once and for all.
Saturn: Pardon me but I would not have agreed with you in 1943 but after years among these humans after you, I realised how honest and outspoken you were. At least, you called a spade and spade and did not take the garb of ‘globalisation’ and ‘free market’ to make your point. Now, political men are just crooks. They want something but they say something else, confusing the public and us too.
Hitler: You are right. They called my ways wrong and disrespected my honest policies by calling them ethnic cleansing and holocaust. What are they doing now? Did you see how my country is flooding with outsiders? And this is all because of one woman. Did you see how Europe fought over one currency? Did you hear about the dictators around the world? I was a better man.
Saturn: You were a man of principles. They called you war-mongerer but today’s leaders spend billions and billions on nuclear weapons. Now see what is happening. This new virus has attacked and the countries’ healthcare systems are breaking down. Is it not the result of greed and ambition? I mean the wrong ambitions.
Hitler: You understand me well.
Saturn: We are similar in many ways.
~ NM