Sunday, October 6, 2024
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Where have our basic niceties gone?

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By Shishir Joshi

Say cheese, you are on camera. We all may have heard this almost unfailingly, every time memories are to be recorded.

A quick surf of any channel (television programming , they say, mirrors the society) and you know we have changed. At the very least, we may be forced into believing so. Take the case of Ram-Laxman, the much talked and written about twin grouchos on MTV. They have made a fine art of scowling (and abusing ).

In fact, if you see them smile, you know that they have had a bad day. Or worse, the person whom they are smiling at, has had it.

Then there is the grim faced Ashutosh Rana on a youth show and another 20/30/40 something female anchor on an entertainment channel who is ‘being nice’ to the participants when there are only three beeps in her 20 second monologue which makes it on air.

I must admit that I have become used to some of these scowlers. So much so, that I wonder would these manner-haters even look nice if they smile. Hence, I was indeed surprised to see this baby faced ’meanie’ on a stunt show on one of these fancy youth channels, who, I am sure has a killer smile but may have been compelled (by the show producers) to wear that growl on his face (complimented by a dark ill-fitting jacket).

But this blog is not about clothes. It is about the looks and behaviour you wear. It is about the basic niceties which seem to have an even rarer appearance than this year’s monsoon.

If one were to ask, rather politely, “Would you mind parking your car a bit to the left,” to the car owner along your vehicle, “Kyon, nahin karega to kya kar lega”,(What the @@##% will you do if I dont?) would be his spitting reply, when, a mere smile or a “Sure, I don’t mind” would have done.

I remember reading, not so long ago, that “Whats- up” is the new ‘Hello”. But I wasn’t aware that even this (what’s up) had been replaced by an ‘indifferent shrug’ bordering on, ‘I am- doing -you -a -favour -by -acknowledging -your -presence’.

Some call it a cool attitude and genuinely believe that it’s their USP. To be rude. To be ‘heard’. I remember Rajdeep Sardesai once saying that on news channels, there is anyways such a clutter that to be heard above that din, one ends up shouting a bit. Point taken. But the shouting soon becomes a normal tone and when someone says something gently, the person is accused of being ‘very soft’.

How often do we take the initiative to stop by and shake hands with a colleague? (Why should I do it, if he is not). When is the last time we greeted someone with a warm good morning (I repeat, the operative word is WARM).

When is the last time you smiled, genuinely and were naturally nice to someone? Whenever we have that constipated look, why don’t we ever try to leave it behind, in the washroom, rather than spread the stink?

No, I have not had a bad car parking experience. Nor did someone growl at me with his looks without any fault of mine. No I am not promoting Raju Hirani’s ‘Jadu ki jhappi’ nor trying to tell the Americans to be a little nicer to SRK.

I just happened to surf a few TV channels last night. And this morning, observed faces in different moods as I was driving in. But just everyone seemed as if they had read a doomsday prediction.

‘Smile, you’re on camera seems passe’. Smile, you are no longer on camera is in. Or is it that SMILE just became a four-letter word :)?

(The author is co-founder JM Foundation for Excellence in Journalism, Mumbai)

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