By Jenniefer Dkhar
One is shocked and worried to read the news item “Police pick up 46 students in the city” (ST Nov 20, 2014). One glance at this news in the front page of the daily was enough to shake one’s nerves as we are confronted with the negatives that beset our society. In this case one clearly feels that every parent, guardian, adult and every individual must be held responsible for the plight and lifestyle of young people today. Adolescents are at a vulnerable age when they need special care, attention empathy and support. This is the time when every growing young mind is trying to cope with the ways of the world. This is also the time when they are swayed and also easily drawn towards the vulgarities of life or the determined ethics as inculcated and displayed to them by their elders at home and the society at large.
As the famous saying goes, ‘Charity begins at home.’ Home is where the nurturing, the comfort, the togetherness, the warmth, the support and most importantly the feeling of ‘being there’ for them along with the presence of familial ties and bonds is felt. It is true that this is a difficult age but nothing could be more difficult and trying than to see your children treading the wrong path. Knowingly or unknowingly, we the parents and guardians are so caught up in our daily activities that we have very little time to sit and talk to our children. While our workload is on the increase, our special family time with our children is on the decline. Yes it is true that we work hard and leave no stone unturned to give our children the best – the best school, best college, best quality food, more cash in their pockets but what is missing in our daily itinerary is the best quality time that we can spend with our children – the time that our children look forward to everyday of their lives. It is not only sad but true that today in trying to shower our children with worldly comforts we are compromising our love. Mind you, we have no intention of causing harm to our flesh and blood but somewhere there emerges this compromise and a substitution of our love and affection with worldly treasures and materialistic wealth.
As a daughter and a mother, one feels the need to never strike a deal and steal quality time from my loved ones, my parents and most importantly my child. Wealth can be earned at any point in time as long as we are alive on this earth but precious time and equally precious moments with our children can never be retrieved once lost.
There is yet another saying, “The family that eats together stays together.” Now how many of us are fortunate enough to have at least one meal together with the entire family, in a day? When we were young we were exhorted never to talk while having our meals but that was because our elders did not want us to choke while eating. Besides we had ample family time unlike today. Those were the days when every member of the family would sit together to share their experiences of the day. Basically this was a platform for every individual member of the family to unravel their familial bonds. Sadly today meal times are interrupted by external factors like the television that has an altogether different story to share. If those special moments are lost are we then not allowing our space of togetherness as a family to be sabotaged, disrupted and threatened? If we as parents, guardians and elders in the home are unable to make a home a safe haven for our children then they are sure to go astray.
Actually even teachers play an important role in providing children with love, care and guidance. Children spend a minimum of seven hours a day in schools and colleges. It will not be incorrect to say that the schools and colleges are our children’s second home. Some may disagree with this but the fact remains that our children spend 7-8 hours every day, five or six days a week in educational institutions that are responsible not only in giving book knowledge but in helping to shape their character, personality, their moral and spiritual well being and preparing the young person with social skills so that they know how to interact with each other and also know the purpose of their existence in this world. What good would an academically sound person be to himself and his fellow human beings if he lacks humanity? Perhaps the core reason behind having a moral science period in school is to acquaint the child with moral values and ethics. Hence the moral science period must not be taken as a free period or a period to complete unfinished homework and lessons. This is the single most important period of the day as it will nourish their minds and spirits and inculcate good behaviour in them. While no moral science period is assigned at the college level it is left to the wisdom of the teachers to use every subject to push in value education.
While adolescents resist being sermonized through monologue they work better in a dialogic ambiance. As teachers we cannot restrict ourselves only to the subjects assigned to us but need to make an effort to make every student feel loved, cared for and cherished. Besides educating them on various subjects, life as an important subject may also be discussed and deliberated upon. If as adults we still treasure our kindergarten teachers who have had an impact on us and teachers that may have made our lives so special can’t we make the lives of our young one who are the future of our state, worthy to be pillars of the future generation? It may sound like preaching but nonetheless it is worth trying!
However, outside the home and institutional domain, great contributions must also come from the society at large. As a society, we need to ponder on the recent police action and put our heads together on what we can do to mentor our young people. We are a great influence on the young people in the way we act and react to situations and events that take place in and around us. Today’s generation lacks humanity. This is a ‘selfie’ generation of I, me and mine only. The corrupt minds of those who extend their hands in support of all the vices like easy access to alcohol and other substances and social evils has had a very deleterious effect on our youth but we are least concerned about them. Most of us are concerned only about the comfort and sustenance of the “self”. But it is essential to understand that every member of the society is either a parent, a sister, a brother, an uncle, an aunt etc., and they purport one relation or the other with another individual. After all man is a social being who has to socialise and create bonds of friendship and love with another human. If one child has gone astray we need to reflect and be aware of our roles at home and in the society. Today it is someone else’s child that is in trouble, tomorrow it may be ours.
At this juncture, I wish to appeal to each and every parent, guardian and every individual member of the society to create a safe place and nourish a sage mind for the future of our state because the youth are our pillars of strength. Let us all give our children a very important place before and above anything else. Our priority should be to mould and bring out the goodness in our children and not the fulfilment of their comfort and worldly pleasures.