By Darilyn Syiem
Throughout history there have been incredible women who have led us, inspired us and encouraged us to do the right thing. There are women who make things better; there are women of wit and wisdom who, through their strength and courage, make it through; there are women who change things; and there are women who make things happen. These women may not be in the forefront of things but their presence and efforts sets the ball rolling. On this 2015 International Women’s Day, I want to salute the women who have contributed in some way or the other to make things happen, whether in the home or in the public space.
Let us imagine for a while, a home without a woman, a workplace without a woman or a whole society without women. The day to day household chores that are a woman’s responsibility would become totally disorganised. Who will cook meals, who will wash and clean, who will manage the home. If a man had to take these responsibilities, would he be able to function well at work, in community meeting and other engagements? Will he able to manage with child care on his own? We all know the answer to this. Yet in spite of her indispensability, the work that a woman does at home remains in the shadow; and what is even more tragic is that women silently accept this as part and parcel of their lives, not recognising it as valuable work.
When we shift our focus to the workplace, we see, especially in our State Meghalaya, that women form the bulk of the workforce. Whether they are in leadership positions or working at the grassroots, they are contributing as much, if not more, than their male counterpart. Having said this, I want to draw your attention to events that are organised in the workplace or in the community. What do women usually have to do in such functions? They serve, entertain, and keep people happy. They are engaged in relational activities that help to make events successful. Sadly these are seen as female traits that only women can perform. I remember attending an important function at a certain institution where a VIP from Delhi head office visited the institution to flag off a fishery project. I was disappointed to see only men officials sitting at the podium and I asked the people around: “Where are the women scientists?” for I knew there were a few out there. My question was answered when I saw them singing along with the rest of the women staff members, singing a welcome song. Now there is nothing wrong or demeaning about this activity but my question is: “Why can’t the men scientists also join in the singing?” A more important question is: “Is this activity considered as part of the process of achieving goals and hence acknowledged and included in institutional reports?” Because, if it was not for the women’s expressions of thoughtfulness or being “nice”, anticipating what others will need or understanding and responding to the emotional context of situations, many programmes would not be fully successful. Joyce K.Fletcher terms these so called female tasks as relational practices that usually disappear and become invisible work. Therefore women must stop belittling their efforts and contributions, which we women so often do, but must know that the tasks we are relegated with and which are taken for granted, are in fact relational skills that need to be acknowledged and accounted. This must begin with us.
In the religious and social institutions, women have been volunteering as fund raisers and peace makers for a long, long time. In 1914 the practice of a handful of rice offering was started all over Mizoram by the women fellowship. This rice is distributed to the poor or sold in the market and the proceedings are used to help those in need. This has now become one of the main sources of income for the Synod. In the community, the women’s groups take on the responsibility of tackling alcoholism and other social evils. Recently, I came to know that in the village of Lawbah in Meghalaya, the women village defence party have managed to root out alcoholism using non-aggressive approach like requesting the liquor sellers to close down their shops and even praying with them that they may find other means of livelihood. Further, in Nagaland and Garo Hills, to take just a few examples, the Naga Mothers’ Association and the Mothers’ Union have played crucial roles as peace negotiators in the violence torn states. But again, these efforts that women have been selflessly making are often taken for granted and eventually become disappearing acts.
While on the subject of violence we cannot deny that violence against women and children is alarmingly increasing day by day. This includes sexual assault and domestic violence. More women victims of violence are coming forward to report as compared to a few years back. The awareness building and empowering processes that women have and are still doing is producing results in that those abused women are starting to become aware that they need not keep silent or feel ashamed to speak out. By coming forward to get support services like legal aid, counselling, or to seek justice, these abused women move from a position of victim to that of a survivor. Such survivors are symbols of encouragement to others who are facing similar violence giving a message that you are not the only one. The brave step forward taken by these women in order to be free from violence transforms them into agencies of change that are not to be underestimated.
I could go on and on but I stop here reiterating that there are women who change the world everyday but whose contributions are hardly ever publicly acknowledged. As we commemorate International Women’s Day on March 8, it is important to remind ourselves that we need to celebrate small victories everyday because they all add up to the big picture.
(March 8 which is observed as International Women’s Day falls on a Sunday hence all articles related to the subject are appearing a day ahead, ie March 7)