Sunday, December 15, 2024
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Me, myself and I

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By Dolorem Ipsum

Living with Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a continuous struggle, which many people will not be able to relate to or understand. It is a very debilitating disease, which affects the afflicted’s heart, mind and soul. Continuously navigating between the primary and the secondary personalities is a very taxing experience.

It has been a challenging last few days, weeks and months for my alter ego and me. We were constantly fighting, bickering and were at loggerheads about the paucity of violence and destruction in our lives. Yesterday evening, my alter ego was very despondent and melancholic; this morning, he woke up glum, dispirited and heartsick. In order to get away from this back and forth with my alter ego and to give my tempestuous mind some rest, I decided to take my dog for a walk. The benefit was twofold—I would get a break and the wonderful animal could finish his morning rituals in front of someone’s yard, gate or car. And he did not disappoint me. A man’s best friend, indeed!

On my return from my walk I was astounded to find my alter ego in the best of spirit. He was beaming at me from ear to ear, and although it was the start of the winter season here, he seemed to have an extra spring on his steps. I was surprised and concerned by the sudden change of behaviour, which is generally a precursor to a sudden and emotional meltdown. Therefore, paying heed to my therapist’s advice, I immediately rushed to my medicine cabinet for my emergency medication, only to find my split self blocking my way. He seemed rather ecstatic and genuinely happy, almost delirious, and he was coaxing me towards the laptop on the center table. He kept on repeating that we should not consider ourselves alone anymore, that we have many friends in the city, whom we can connect with and start our advocacy group, which we had planned to call “Rioters’ Anonymous”.

Being curious, naturally, I waddled to the computer, the supposed source of his happiness and his epiphany, to find that he was perusing an article on your e-Paper titled, Headmen’s rally turns violent, published on November 6, 2015. I looked at my alter ego, quizzingly, while trying to draw a connection between his newfound happiness and the content on the screen. He grinned at me like a Cheshire cat, pointed at the report and asked me to go through it. I read the report a couple of times, before looking back at him even more confused. Shaking my head at my inability to understand his insinuations, I looked at him exasperatingly. He leaned forward, his eyebrows corrugated, unable to contain his excitement and whispered, “Don’t you see the connection? It is so apparent.”

Unfortunately, like a young kid, who is unable to solve a Math quiz, I looked at him, quite embarrassed, and said, “I don’t.”

Using his psychic ability to read my mind, he gave me an askance glance and murmured, “You are thinking so hard that even your thoughts are echoing.” As I chuckled at his observation, he continued, “On November 6, there was a rally in the city, which was supposed to be peaceful; however, it turned violent as some of the protestors started pelting stones at the security personnel.” As I looked at him disconcertingly, he continued, “As you have read, there weren’t any loss of lives, but a few police personnel were injured and a few vehicles were damaged.” My alter ego then went on to point out on the screen that the president of the organization that had called for this rally had this to say on this matter, “Reacting to a query on the supporters being unhappy with the outcome of the meeting, Kharshiing said those who are not happy do not understand the law. “It is difficult for the State government to do anything when the matter is pending with the Ministry of Home Affairs,” he added.”

As I got up and walked away slowly from the computer, trying to process all this information, my alter ego quipped with unbridled enthusiasm, “Aren’t you thrilled that violence is back? We will no longer be melancholic or despondent. Now, we can start “Rioters’ Anonymous”, for all those people who have a propensity for hatred, disorder and turmoil. There is money to be made, lives to be annihilated, properties to be destroyed, terror to be spread, gullible masses to be misguided; corrupt politicians and incompetent leaders to be propped up… We are back in the business again, my friend. It is show time!”

I started to respond to him, but he interrupted me saying, “Don’t even bother… I can read your mind and hear your thoughts. Look, we are among friends, now. We have people who think and act like you and I. We have people who are out there in the public domain who have DID, and they are ruling over the plebes, and the folks are none the wiser. Most people have no independent thought, they don’t have any free will, and they will follow their psychopathic leaders and politicians over the edge of a precipice—the blind leading the deaf.”

“How have you reached the conclusion that many of them have DID?” I interrupted.

“Look around you…,” he answered “…look at the world around us… read that comment about the cause of violence, from one of the gentlemen who had called for that rally.”

As I returned to the computer to re-read the last few paragraphs of that report my alter ego continued, “The organising committee knew that the State government would be incapable of taking this issue forward, as the matter is currently resting with the Central government. Yet, the committee and their cohorts called for this rally, disrupted the daily life of the people, created an ambience that led to violence and damage to property. And the protestors knew that if they resorted to violence, they, too, would break the law, yet they got violent anyway.”

“Well, to me, it seems to be a case of Cognitive dissonance, not DID. You know… people smoke, even though they know it causes cancer.” I retorted.

“Yes, however, Leon Festinger’s (1957) cognitive dissonance theory suggests that we strive for internal consistency—we crave to ensure that our beliefs are in constant harmony with our behavior, and any disharmony or inconsistency between the two will be avoided.”, countered the split self. “In this case, the organizers and the rioters should have realized that they are experiencing cognitive dissonance; hence, they should have taken action to reduce that dissonance. They knew that the State government could not have taken any unilateral action without understanding the position of the Home Ministry. Hence, having a rally in the middle of the week could have led to no possible resolution, which means that calling off that rally or not resorting to violence is the most logical action to avoid any disharmony. Yet, they went ahead with the rally knowing full well the outcome of such an action. There was no inconsistency between their beliefs and their behavior—hold a rally that won’t solve anything and disrupt life; get violent and break the law—it was a consonant relationship.”

“Well, don’t you think, then, it is a bit of a stretch to consider that they are all suffering from DID?” I retorted.

“No, not at all…” was my alter ego’s answer. “This is how a prominent website defines this condition …” he added.  “Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), or Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), is the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual’s behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss which is beyond normal forgetfulness. This memory loss is often referred to as “losing time”. These symptoms must occur independently of substance abuse, or a general medical condition.”

“Do you see the connection, now? All of them have multiple personalities, which are distinct from each other. If I am not mistaken, one of the organisers’ is a well-known medical doctor, who owns a hospital in the city. He is a capitalist—provides a service and charges for it. Could you imagine his patients or their family members disrupting his practice or his operations, or damaging his property, just because they were dissatisfied with one his hospital’s new policies? No! I am sure he would go ballistic on them and have them arrested. However, he has—no, his alter ego—has no qualms about calling a rally in the middle of the week, disrupting businesses, throwing normal life into utter disarray and pretending that he is doing so to protect his culture. I am sure his alter ego would not even feel a tinge of guilt, if people lost their lives because the ambulance they were in was prevented from reaching a hospital—his hospital—by the protesters blocking the roads. DID, right there, right?”

“Likewise,” he continued, “the alter egos of the remaining self-proclaimed leaders of this organization are probably working somewhere or running a business somewhere. Imagine somebody calling a peace rally and disrupting their normal life. They would, most likely, go medieval on them. Same is true for the alter egos of people who were pelting stones at the police or the alter ego of the PWD Engineer who felt the rush to join in on the festivities. They are all suffering from DID and the associated memory loss. But, hey, there’s nothing to worry, let’s call them and give them the telephone number of our shrink. Talking to a shrink will probably help them all to exorcise their ghosts and will probably help them all return to normal life. If not, we can at least make some money by referring thousands of patients to our shrink. Capitalism rocks, ask Herr Doktor, and, moreover, it is finally time for you to show me the money!”

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