By Jenniefer Dkhar
As the world gears up to celebrate International Women’s Day, what comes to mind are the series of events that have befallen women in Meghalaya from the beginning of this year. From the horrendous incident in Bangalore to our very own state, safety and security for women is a distant dream as fellow human beings have degenerated to the nadir as far as bestial acts of molestation, rape, abuse, violation of a human’s body is concerned. Not a single day passes without reports of atrocities, violence, rape and murder that inflict women. I shudder to think of how much lower we can sink as a society. As a woman, I feel hurt, pain and humiliation every time I hear of atrocities meted out on women and children. What is worse is to listen to insensitive, uncanny and unpleasant comments of our male counterparts especially our representatives who are at the helm of affairs. In the Bangalore incident, I am shocked and angered that a an elected representative can belittle himself with such malicious remarks as this: “if there is sugar somewhere, ants will come.” Such filthy and despicable mindsets need to be sanitised.
This only takes me back to the medieval perception of women which says that a woman must check the clothes she wears or else she is silently communicating to the men to devour and violate her. Sadly this mindset is still prevalent today. Hence women are always blamed and at the receiving end. It is a stereotypical thinking ingrained in our system that superiority and power is a man’s domain while frailty and vulnerability are female attributes.
At the risk of sounding filmi, I cannot help take recourse to movies as metaphor as this is one medium that reaches millions of homes and some films act as mouthpieces. Here I’m reminded of a dialogue from the film Pink, when one of the men while brushing aside allegations of having molested a girl says he is merely following tradition, hence girls have to be constantly reminded what their status is and the red lines are that they can’t cross. This dialogue is outrageous because the character voices the thoughts of many men. It is because of such patriarchal and chauvinistic mindsets that still continue to prevail, that it is impossible for girls and women to feel safe and secure at home as well as outside. Molestation, harassment, rape and murder are the order of the day be it on the road, at work or even the home, women are susceptible to various atrocities.
It is sad that while God created man and woman equal it is we humans who have created distinctions. From the tender years of their existence, there are homes and families that have inculcated in the minds of the girls that they are to make way for the boys in the house and family. From their childhood, boys are provided for with all that the family can afford even if it means that the girls are deprived of all the rights that are due to them. The cliché; the brother can go to school while the sister has to help out at home is still prevalent in many parts of our country. Hence gender discrimination starts at home. While the girls grow up they feel deprived while the boys are taught to assert their power, authority and control. At this juncture, I recall another movie, Dangal that highlighted several significant issues centring around women. Besides showcasing the unflinching faith that a father has on the potentials of his two daughters it also taught us viewers the need to think out of the box and look at our girls as assets and not mere liabilities. It is for both men and women to see that their daughters are no different from their sons. Given a chance the girls can not only shine but excel.
For centuries now we have been and are still tutoring our girls on the do’s and don’ts that they must observe. They must not dress provocatively; they must not stay away from home late in the night as these will result in their being branded as persons of loose -character and thereby invite trouble for themselves. As if the character of a woman is only based on where she goes, who she goes with, what she wears and what she thinks. Girls are taught to stay safe but safe from whom? Sadly, from none other than their male-counterparts! Girls/women are to safeguard themselves from the opposite sex by curbing their freedom of movement, their choice of clothing, etc. All the adjustments are to be made by the girls if they want to stay safe. If they waver from what is expected of them and what they ought to do then they are liable to a lot of licentious acts and disdain. Therefore it is about time that we do a lot of re-thinking as Amitabh Bachchan says in the same film, Pink and I translate, “All the while we have been moving in the wrong direction. We should be saving our boys. If we save our boys our girls will be saved.” Perhaps, the time has come for us to turn around and adjust our lenses. We must keep our sons safe from becoming perverts. We must keep them safe from rigid thinking and conservative mindsets especially when it comes to women. We must keep them safe from becoming dictating and domineering. We must keep them safe from becoming chauvinistic. It is even more pertinent for parents in particular and us the people in general to allow both our boys and girls to co-exist amidst love, respect and dignity.
While we are making great progress and development in science and technology, I fail to understand as to why is it so difficult for our social psyche to progress, especially when it comes to women. For how long should a woman be perceived as the weaker lot? How is it that this dim perception is so ingrained and internalised as to make women easy prey to such foul, weak and sick minds? In every part of the world there are numerous women who are face discrimination every single day of their lives. No matter how advanced a country may be, women still face atrocities.
Therefore it is imperative that parents, elders and teachers change their mindsets and see things from the gender lens. We must provide an ambience for a peaceful and respectful co-existence of our boys and girls at home, at play, at educational institutions, at the work place and every other space. We must lead by example and show our children that they are equal in all respects and are to be provided equally by treating them so. We must teach our boys to respect not only their elders but their sisters alike. We must make them realise that their female counterparts are made of the same flesh and blood and therefore they too feel the hurt and pain just like men do. After all women too have feelings, emotions and sentiments. Why are women to be forever trampled upon? Can women continue to be perceived as mere objects that can be used, abused and left unheard? Are women lesser than human beings with no hearts that beat and feel the pain, hurt and anger?
Let there be mass awareness initiated right from the hearth and home, educational institutions, communities, work places, etc. It is of imperative for the law to take its course and for the judicial system to speed up cases especially related to atrocities on women. Until and unless a perpetrator of crime is dealt with stringently then heinous crimes will continue every single day. Speedy trial and pronouncement of judgement against anyone responsible for crime should be the order of the day.
True to the spirit of this year’s International Women’s Day celebration: Be Bold For Change, our women must be bold enough to report every act of sexual violence on themselves or others. At the same time men must also be bold enough to fight against ideologies that corrupt and pollute their minds against women. Perhaps then we can work towards a peaceful co-existence of humankind.