Feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities — economic, social and political. But this movement for equality of the sexes has lately become synonymous with man-hating or “feminazis”as they call it. It’s the equality between men and women and does not in any way suggest superiority of one sex over the other. A few months ago, I began questioning the real idea of feminism and did not realise that I too am a feminist.
Being labelled a feminist is almost insulting to some. Feminism has become an unpopular word and we need to change that notion. Whenever a woman’s expression is seen as too strong or too aggressive, isolating or anti-men, she is seen as rather unattractive and unabashed. But this myth that feminism is anti-men is just that, a myth. It is not anti-men but anti-patriarchy and we are still clarifying people about it even today.
I would like to take for instance the feminist movement in 1992 by rural women in Andhra Pradesh known as the Anti-Arrack Movement (against the sale of cheap liquor) as a sign that feminism has been present in patriarchal India for quite some time but was never given the chance to explode into a full movement.
We need feminism now more than ever. The crimes against women are rising and women still have not received the respect we deserve in this country.
I would like to take the example of the matriarchal society that I belong to. Many are in awe of this utopic society in the far North East where women are heads of households and they are seen as equals. But I’m afraid to say that has changed and I am a witness to that change.
Crimes against women in the North East are increasing manifold and a rape, a molestation or a kidnapping or even murders, occurs every day in my own state. Men have taken for granted the role of a woman and have become, dare I say, lazy. A friend who visited the state once insightfully mentioned “for a state that prides itself on its matriarchy, the women seem to be doing a lot of the work” and it was then that I knew all we had was just the surnames and the property rights, but with the elements of patriarchy embedded in it.
However, it’s not everyone yes, there are families where males and females are equals and it is then that a generation of children are taught from their homes what equality is and why is needed. A quote by Angela Davis “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept” is what I live by to get through the patriarchy.
Males are usually excluded from the conversations about feminism but how can we ever make a change if the other half is not inclusive in the journey? Gender equality is a man’s issue too. There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not lead single-issue lives.
There are a lot of feminists out there, men included.
I will not say male feminists because you are a feminist. In fact, I believe everyone should be a feminist. It is only then that we can achieve the equality and respect between the sexes. When males and females co-exist, on equal terms, is when we can say that the feminist movement is a success.
Smash the patriarchy is what a true feminist would do. I would like to convey this to all the women and men here that if we are not advocating for those whose realities do not look or feel like our own then we are unequivocally a part of the problem. We too become bearers and witnesses to the patriarchy and the misogyny, we are imprisoned by the gender stereotypes.
We need to perceive gender as one instead of a set of two opposing ideals. We can all spread the true ideals of feminism so we can be free from prejudice and be freer with one another.
Feminism shows everybody as equal. It is literally about allowing a woman to stand next to a woman equally rather than depicting them as beneath a man’s feet making them inferior, as it has been perceived in many generations. If not now, when? If you believe in equality then you are an inadvertent feminist and for this I applaud you.
(Contributed by Alicia Bakor
Phanwar, Student, St Aloysius
College, Mangalore)
