‘Proud to wear my Jainsem’

Tailin Lyngdoh is proud of her profession and believes that there is no reason for anyone to discriminate against a human being on the basis of his or her job profile. She also believes that a person cannot be judged by his or her attire. So when on June 25, Lyngdoh, also lovingly called Kong Tailin, was asked to leave a luncheon, organised by P Thimmayya Goel (niece of General Thimmayya, one of the most famous army man of post independence India), by two officials of Delhi Golf Club because “maids” are not allowed, she felt demeaned. The officials’ words discomfited her and eight other guests, including Lyngdoh’s employer Nivedita Barthakur Sondhi, who walked out of the club without having their food. For Lyngdoh, it is still a mystery how can her Jainsem, the Khasi traditional dress that she had worn proudly to many a high-profile get-together, be marked as a “maid’s dress”.
Lyngdoh opens up to The Shillong Times and shares her bitter experience at the elite club. She also tells the newspaper how the rudeness was in sharp contrast to the warmth she had received from people in western countries.

Can you narrate what exactly happened on June 25 at Delhi Golf Club?
We reached from Abu Dhabi on Saturday (June 24). On the 25th, Pam aunty had invited all of us for lunch at Delhi Golf Club. Pam aunty was there to receive us and we sat at our table at the end of the room. After we had ordered our drinks and 10-15 minutes into our lunch. two persons, a man and a woman came to me and said that I look like a “maid” and therefore cannot sit at the table and be in the dining room. When Nivedita asked how can you say she is a maid? Pam aunty also said that I am her guest.
They refused to believe and said I look like a maid, I am dressed like a maid and I look like a “Nepali”. Nivedita tried explaining that Pam aunty (Goel) had invited us and that I was amongst the guests at the table. She also explained that her dress is Khasi Jainsem and that she herself is from Assam. And that I belong to Shillong. But they did not listen.
After that we all, nine of us, including Raghav (Sondhi’s nine-year-old son), left the Golf Club as they would not let me stay and eat inside the dining room.

Was there any direction from the Club on the dress code for that function for men, women and children?
This was not a function. Pam aunty, who is a member of the club, invited us all. Why would I go to a place if I was not invited? Raghav was asked (to wear) long pants and shoes but we all wore our own dress; two other ladies wore sarees, Nivedita wore a dress and Pam aunty wore a skirt. I wore my Jainsem.

Do you think attire should be the reason for discrimination?
People wear different dresses now; how can people be told ‘maid’ or something by what they wear. I am proud to wear my Jainsem and I always wear it. How can they say it’s a maid’s dress!

What would you like to tell those two employees of the club?
The club is wrong here because if they did not have the rule against domestic workers’ entering their dining room, they would not have dared to come and ask me to leave. They were only following the club rules. I would like to say to the club that all professions are same — no job is bigger or greater. I look after children and I do it with dignity and pride. You have no right to treat me or anyone like me so badly or unequally. I am as human as you are.

Your humiliation is the culmination of ignorance. However, do you think it was only discrimination against the traditional dress of a particular tribe or class differentiation?
I saw rich people and educated people there that day; they were not ignorant people! They do not think people like us are worth treating as humans; as if we don’t have heart or pride.

If you think Jainsem is the sole victim in the fiasco, then why?
They thought Jainsem was a maid’s dress and I looked like a maid in that dress. How can they think like that?

Do you think discrimination on labour identity is a gross violation of human rights in this century?
I only know the club did not think I should be treated as their equal or as a human being. They did not think I was good enough to eat with them.

You have been to several countries. How is it different from India?
I have stayed in London for eight years and then now in Abu Dhabi. I have been to other places in England and Europe and Sri Lanka. These countries are very different; in their food, weather and people. Most people don’t treat me differently just because I work as a nanny. I have always been treated as an equal.

Have you ever faced any kind of discrimination or endured glares because of your attire or economic status?
Never. I have always worn a Jainsem and never has anyone told me my dress looks like a maid’s. In foreign countries people walk up to me and say what a beautiful dress I am wearing. Even in Bangalore, Goa, Kerala and other places I have travelled in India (but) no one has ever thrown me out like this.