By H H Mohrmen
They were born about four hundred miles apart yet somehow as fate would have it, they were connected by their deaths and more precisely their common wish where their bodies will finally be laid to rest. This exceptional wish to be buried near home in spite of the prevailing situation when the whole country is in a lockdown is not merely an unusual death wish but it is deeply linked with the essence of being a tribal.
The fact that they were both born and brought up on the rolling hills, in the bosom of nature and more importantly in a close knit culture is something that makes them different from others. Many a time people find it hard to understand the tribal people and could not really comprehend their bizarre way of life, because of the deep bond that they have with their culture and to the land of their birth.
Both the youths were of the same age and in their early twenties which says a lot about the unique tribal upbringing which is different and the story is a living example of the saying – “Home is where the Heart is.” The story of Vivian Lalremsanga who died in Chennai and his friend Raphael AVL Malchahanhima who took all the trouble to take his friend’s mortal remains al the way to Mizoram so he can be buried in the place of his birth is a story that will be remembered for a very long time and will also help people understand the tribal way of life.
On March 31, the editor of this paper, Patricia Mukhim shared on her facebook timeline a post which was originally sent to Robin Hibu, IPS in charge NE Affairs in Delhi. The post was a desperate call for help from another young man named Aldrin Lyngdoh who was born to a poor family in Shillong but decided to move to Agra in hopes of a better future. He admitted that in the past he had indulged in illegal activity and decided to migrate to another place with a hope that this will help him change and move on with life. But unfortunately luck did not favour him and his dream came to an abrupt end.
He managed to get a job at Agra in Uttar Pradesh but misfortune crossed his way and the eatery he worked in was closed due to lockdown and he had nowhere to go. He received no sympathy from the owner of the food joint so the only option left for him was to end his life. But in the last part of the post he requested Hibu and in his own word he said ‘to take my dead body to my town so that I can find rest.’ He continued the heart-wrenching plea in Khasi ‘iarap sieh ia ka met ban tep ha Shillong,’ that he will finally be at peace. Alas! Kong Pat’s effort to contact the young man went futile as she can only hear a Khasi song which the victim used as his ringtone.
Although by birth Aldrin was not a Khasi and many would also have issues with that but he was an adopted son of the family and grew up amongst the tribal people and in a tribal culture. Even if he is not a Khasi Pnar by blood but by virtue of him being adopted by a Khasi family, he is legally part of the community. He embraced the Khasi culture hence he is culturally a Khasi as his death wish had clearly indicated that deep inside he is.
People often wonder why tribals are reluctant to venture out of their land for good? Why, given an option they would prefer to work in their respective places than in any other place outside their home? And even if they work outside, they would prefer to come back to their native their land. One simple answer is because of the profound relationship that they have with the land and more importantly the culture of the people. The two deaths also provide an opportunity to explore the Khasi – Pnar understanding about after- life which is linked to this aversion to be separated from their land.
The common Hynñiewtrep belief in after- life is that when one dies one will, ‘bam kwai ha duar U Blei’, (eat betel nut in the courtyard of God). That is the ultimate dwelling place of the soul after it is separated from the body. There is no concept of hell, although there is a saying like ‘ka Nurok ka ksew’ which perhaps is influenced by other cultures, because amongst the Pnar there is also the concept of ‘ki Sangia ki Saret’ or the spirit of the dead ancestors who visit the family every now and then. There is also the concept of sin which will be discussed at another time, but right now the focus is on the affinity of the tribal to their culture and the land.
This also answers the question why the Khasi Pnar have a tradition of not washing their cooking pots and to always keep some portion of food in the utensils after every dinner or evening meal. The reason is to leave some food for the spirits to partake of, if they come to visit the house of the family during the night. The tradition of ‘ka Siang ka Pha/ka phor’ or the offering of food which is part of the last rites of a deceased person is connected with the spirit of the dead. Ka siang ka pha is also being offered annually during the Behdieñkhlam festival by the people of the Raid Jwai which is an offering to the spirit of the dead.
The Pnar concept of the after-life is that when a person dies, the spirit lives on. In fact the hills are not only the earthly dwelling place of the living, but they are also a place where the spirit dwells after it has left the body. Home is therefore not only a place where the body rests, but it is also the place where the spirit of the dead hovers around.
In the Pnar tradition if a person dies in a far off place, the ‘ryngkaw para/ nongwei’ or the domain of the other deities, at least the charred bones have to be taken back to one’s hometown to be placed in the ‘Mootylleiñ Mootymmoh’ or the clan’s ossuary. It is believed that the person will find eternal solace only when the ceremony is completed and at least the charred bones are kept in the ossuary. This gives one the sense that the members of the clan live together not only while they are alive but stay together even after they die.
The Khasi Pnars are known for the honour they give to the departed member of the community. The last rites of a person are as much about the deceased person, as it is also a special occasion for the kith and kin that are still alive. It is a family time and it is mandatory to visit the family and friends during the time of bereavement. It is about the ‘Kur the Kha’ family from both the mother’s and the father’s side and the ‘Para marjan marpa’ (friends and neighbours) sharing their time and resources as a mark of sympathy for the bereaved family.
The death of any member of the community is being shared and respected by the society and in fact the deceased receives more honour on his/her demise than while alive. One wonders if there is any other community which gives more honour to the deceased person than in the tribal society. Therefore it is an honour to die in a tribal society. The honour given to the dead is one aspect of the society which is unique but it is also about the place; the beauty of nature which is another reason which makes one long to be buried in this enchanting land.
The story of the two deaths is a story about how life is strongly tied to one’s culture and land and only fellow tribals can understand how deep that connection can be. These stories resonate with any tribal life and most will agree that they will do the same because of the unique connection that they have with the land of their birth and the culture of the society. These are stories which testify to the fact that it is not easy to separate a tribal from their land and culture.