By Br Solomon Morris
This writing was dormant in me for quite sometime. A recent article on suicide, spurred me to
write this.
Fools, said I you do not know
Silence like a cancers grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach out to you
But my words like silent rain drops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.
(Paul Simon’s The Sound of Silence)
There’s a kind of hush, all over quite a number of our
children, which is loud enough. But we don’t seem to
hear. We are not able to sense it. Perhaps, some of us
do feel its vibrations, but we dismiss it with
indifference. There is a serious dis-ease among our
students. They are screaming for help. We, adults are
unaware of the deafening call. It reminds me of the
picture The Scream, by the Norwegian artist Edvard
Munch – the second most famous image in art history, after Leonardo’s Mona Lisa.
What is this scream about?
The effects of the two years of the pandemic are slowly emerging. I have personally witnessed
a rapid decline in the academic grades. A lot of our children are distracted very easily. They are
fidgety, restless and get irritated quite easily. A number of children in the senior school are seen
yawning right from the first period and it is not because the lessons are not engaging enough.
They have not had adequate sleep the night before. Most of our children are addicted to their
mobile phones, You Tubes, Internet, WhatsApp, Instagram, Gaming and surfing.
In a reflection exercise given to the senior students of a school, it was found that a number of
our students had various issues affecting their mental states. Some of these issues are:
a) Anger management / Aggressive behaviour
b) Stress
c) Addiction to internet
d) Addiction to pornography
e) Addiction to smoking and drinking
f) Wasting of time
g) Poor time management
h) Procrastination
i) Lack of friends and loneliness
j) Getting distracted easily
k) Peer pressure
l) Falling into bad habits
m) Lack of focus
n) Lack of aim in life
Mind you, all these issues are affecting our children who are wonderfully created. They are
truly gifted, talented and decent human beings. But most are unable to handle pressures. They
lack resilience. They succumb to pressures and tend to give up easily. They need help. They
need role models.
What can we adults do in order to help these frail and vulnerable young people? First of all, are
we aware our children are going through serious crises? Are parents in touch with what is
going on in their children’s lives? Are they being monitored? Do we have time to sit with them
and have an honest chat? Can we hear their silent screams for help?
Screen addiction can have several negative psychological effects on teens, including:
Depression and Anxiety: Teens who are addicted to screens may experience increased levels
of depression and anxiety. Spending excessive time on screens can interfere with sleep and
social interactions, which can negatively impact mental health.
Social Isolation: Teens who are addicted to screens may spend less time socializing with
friends and family members, leading to social isolation and loneliness.
Poor Self-Esteem: Excessive screen time can lead to comparisons with others on social media,
which can lower self-esteem and lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Lack of Empathy: Spending excessive time on screens can reduce opportunities for face-to-
face interactions and empathy development, which can negatively impact teens' ability to form
meaningful relationships.
Attention Problems: Screen addiction can make it difficult for teens to focus and pay attention
to tasks outside of technology, leading to attention problems in school and other areas of life.
Irritability and Aggression: Teens who spend too much time on screens may become irritable
and exhibit aggressive behaviors due to the lack of social and emotional skills development.
Addiction: Screen addiction can become a serious addiction, leading to a compulsive need to
use technology, difficulty in controlling usage, and withdrawal symptoms when not using
technology.
It is important for parents to monitor and limit their teens' screen time to minimize the negative
psychological effects of screen addiction. Encouraging alternative activities, such as sports or
hobbies, can also help teens develop a healthier relationship with technology and improve their
psychological well-being.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE COMMON TRIGGERS OF TEEN STRESS?
(Source: Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC )
All teens are different and stress can be triggered by a number of factors. The results of the Stress
in America Survey show that there are some common sources of stress in the teen population. I
wonder if some of these triggers apply to our teens in Shillong as well.
Consider these potential sources of stress for teens:
1. Academic Stress
From grades to test scores to applying to college, teens experience high levels of school-related
stress. Many teens worry about meeting academic demands, pleasing teachers and parents, and
keeping up with their classmates. Poor time management skills or feeling overwhelmed by the
amount of work can play into academic stress as well.
2. Social Stress
Teens place a high value on their social lives. They spend the majority of their waking hours
among their peers, and finding and keeping their tribes can include stress at times. Bullying and
subtle instances of relational aggression are clear sources of stress on teens, but learning to
manage healthy conflict and work through romantic relationships are no easy tasks for the
developing teen. Peer pressure is an additional stress during the teen years. In an effort to establish
and maintain friendships, teens can engage in behaviour outside of their comfort zones to appease
their peers.
3. Family Discord
Stress trickles down, and anything that impacts the family can affect the teen. Unrealistic
expectations, marital problems, strained sibling relationships (including sibling bullying), illness
in the family, and financial stress on the family can all trigger a spike in teen stress.
4. World Events
School shootings, acts of terrorism, and natural disasters worry parents, but they also trigger stress
for teens. Teens are often privy to the 24-hour news cycle, and hearing bits and pieces of scary
news, both domestic and abroad, can leave teens wondering about their safety and the safety of
their loved ones.
5. Traumatic Events
Death of a family member or friend, accidents, sickness, or enduring emotional or physical abuse
can have a lasting impact on teen stress levels.
6. Significant Life Changes
Like adults, teens experience stress due to significant life changes. Moving, starting a new school,
and changes in the makeup of the family (including divorce and blended families) can trigger
stress for teens. Not knowing how to cope with big changes is overwhelming and can be
confusing for the developing teen
Excessive screen time can have several negative effects on students, including:
Physical Health Problems: Spending too much time in front of screens can cause physical
health problems such as headaches, neck and back pain, eyestrain, and obesity.
Poor Sleep: Exposure to screens before bedtime can disrupt the sleep cycle and lead to
insomnia, which can negatively impact students' mental and physical health.
Decreased Physical Activity: Spending excessive time on screens can lead to decreased
physical activity and sedentary behavior, which can have a negative impact on students' health
and well-being.
Reduced Social Skills: Students who spend too much time on screens may have fewer
opportunities to practice social skills and interact with others in real life, which can hinder their
ability to form meaningful relationships and develop social competence.
Lower Academic Performance: Excessive screen time can distract students from their
schoolwork and reduce their ability to concentrate, leading to lower academic performance.
Mental Health Issues: Too much screen time can have a negative impact on students' mental
health and well-being. It can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and social isolation.
Addiction: Excessive screen time can lead to addiction and dependency on technology, making
it difficult for students to disconnect and engage in other activities.
It is important for parents and educators to monitor and limit students' screen time to minimize
the negative effects on their physical, mental, and academic health.
HOW DO WE HELP OUR CHILDREN WHO ARE ADDICTED TO SCREEN TIME?
Set Limits: Establish clear limits on the amount of time children spend on social media and
social networking sites. Parents can set specific times for social media use or establish "no-
phone zones" in the house, such as during meals or family time.
Set Goals and Priorities: Help teens set goals and priorities for their screen time. Encourage
them to prioritize their time and focus on activities that are important to them.
Monitor Usage: Parents should monitor children's social media usage and be aware of the
content they are accessing. It's essential to have open and honest conversations with children
about the risks and negative effects of excessive social media use.
Encourage Alternative Activities: Encourage children to engage in alternative activities that
do not involve screens, such as reading, sports, or hobbies.
Encourage Creative Activities: Encourage teens to engage in creative activities such as art,
music, or writing. Creative activities can provide a healthy outlet for self-expression and help
teens develop new skills and interests.
Be a Role Model: Parents should model healthy behaviour by limiting their own screen time
and engaging in alternative activities.
Seek Professional Help: If a child's social media addiction is severe, it may be necessary to
seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can help children develop coping skills and
strategies for managing their social media use.
It's essential to approach social media addiction with empathy, understanding, and support.
Children who are addicted to social media may be struggling with underlying emotional or
mental health issues that need to be addressed. By providing a safe and supportive
environment, parents can help children overcome social media addiction and develop healthy
habits around technology use.
I earnestly appeal to the parents and elders of the family to kindly be aware of how your young
children are engaging themselves during their free time. Let them inform you of their
whereabouts when they are out. When they do go out to celebrate their birthdays, please
challenge them to be responsible and accountable. Be firm with them especially in their use of
mobile phones and computers. You saying ‘No’ to them is not a sign of being authoritarian but
rather being authoritative. Talk to your children and be there for them. Make efforts to have
regular family meals and get together. Organize family outings and gatherings. Lastly, please
look for help if you feel your child is manifesting odd or strange behaviours.
Parents, Teachers, Counsellors and Principals, all need to work together to address the silent
spread of internet addiction and its devastating effects to which our children have fallen prey.
Their silent screams for help need not go unattended. We need to reach out to these fragile
individuals who are clutching at weak straws to stop themselves sinking into a quagmire of
self-destruction.
The silence depressed me. It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence. (Sylvia
Plath)