By Anirban Bhattacharyya
India just pulled off the ultimate magic trick: landing on the dark side of the moon. But, Pink Floyd didn’t roll out the psychedelic red carpet as promised. We did it, and at a price tag so low, it makes you wonder if we borrowed some spending tips from the state of Kerala where in the first 9 days of Onam the people of Kerala spent 665 crore on just alcohol alone. Come to think of it Kerala could have funded our Moon Mission! Take a bow, India; we’ve reached the pinnacle of civilisation – space travel. Naturally, we Indians came together as we are oft to do during such momentous events in spite of our caste, creed, state, religious differences, languages and gathered around, our Indian chests puffed with pride, and threw a nationwide party. But let’s cut to the chase, has anything really changed in India since we got over our space euphoria?
Well, in the past week, it seems we’ve had a surge in vigilante attacks on minorities and hate incidents in several states. It’s like we celebrated our moon landing by taking a giant leap backward. Or Nothing has changed, after all.
In Rishikesh, Uttarakhand, the Hindutva Devbhoomi Raksha Abhiyan went on a demolition derby, smashing two Muslim mazars to bits while chanting “Jai Shri Ram.” Someone even declared, “All the dead in these mazars are getting evicted.”
In Uttar Pradesh’s Shahjahanpur, leaders of the Antarashtriya Hindu Parishad decided to do some temple hopping, demanding the Gyanvapi mosque’s transformation into a Hindu temple. Down in Karnataka’s Doddaballapura, Pramod Muthalik, leader of the Sri Ram Sena, decided to give a stirring hate speech, targeting Muslims and threatening interfaith lovebirds. Because who needs tractors, books, or pens when you can worship swords, right?
In the nation’s capital, Hindutva singer Kanhiya Mittal declared a holy war against the Christian religion, saying if you meet a Father, remind them who is the grandfather! The crowd loved it, naturally.
Oh, and in case you thought our education system was safe, think again. Tripta Tyagi, a teacher in Muzzafarnagar, encouraged Hindu boys to give Muslim students a lesson in violence. She claimed she couldn’t do it herself because of a self-proclaimed handicap. Go figure!
And the cherry on top of nothing has changed story? “The Kashmir Files” winning a National Award for Best Film on National Integration. It’s almost like they meant “National Disintegration.” Good one, Jury!
Meanwhile, Manipur’s been burning for four months, but the national media and leaders seem to think it’s part of another galaxy. The Archbishop of Imphal reports 249 churches were destroyed in 36 hours during the violence. “We, the People of India” seems like a distant memory, as religion, state identities, and caste politics continue their celestial tango.
But fear not! The heroes of the opposition have united under the banner of I.N.D.I.A (The Indian National Developmental Inclusive Alliance) to take on the NDA Govt led by BPJ in the 2024 elections. Are they the true champions of our secular republic, or just another star in the political constellation? Only time, and perhaps a telescope, will tell.
Congress President Mallikarjun Kharge says they aim to protect democracy, promote welfare, and counter whatever ideology they think is threatening the idea of India. Fingers crossed, folks!
In the end, let’s ponder a cosmic conundrum: why do we measure our patriotism by random events, ignoring our religious and social differences? Perhaps it’s time we maintained this National identity and camaraderie in our everyday lives. Or maybe, just maybe, it is just the old moon and a new shuttle. Beam us up, Scotty!
(Anirban Bhattacharyya is a bestselling author, Creator-Producer of the TV show Savdhaan India, a stand up comedian and an actor)