Esha Chaudhuri
Other than daily stressors of a perfunctory lifestyle, social media and its platforms also bear a dark side that may be detrimental to one’s mental wellbeing. In the recent instance of music artist Jessie Lyngdoh’s public statement about her harrowing experience citing her own example of cyberbullying and online harassment, makes a case study for understanding the nuances of ‘speech’ on social media. A video that was streamed on October 5, 2023, 8pm IST, on Instagram, 29 year old Lyngdoh opened up about constant bullying and defaming that has implicated on her mental health tremendously. This video opens up a can of worms about social media ethics, the propensity of ‘free speech’ – its length and measure, as well as hate speech which is a contentious topic. Since its release, the video has taken Shillong city by a storm. Speaking with Sunday Shillong, Lyngdoh says “It’s been almost a year now since I came across perhaps the first post with regard to me and my music. Initially, I did not really think or say much about the opinion as I thought it was just a one off which the person would move on from. But there have also been terrible comments made and insulting remarks about people I know. It was much later that it seemed as if the person developed a desire to constantly harass me on social media every now and again to a point where it felt as if the person was singling me out for some unknown reason.”
Reading derogatory posts about herself and her friends time and again, after a period of thought, Lyngdoh decided to call out an online bully (since Lyngdoh has never personally met or interacted with the person) and let the world know about it all. She reveals, “As I realised that the person kept coming back to me over and over in an on and off pattern, leaving very degrading and derogatory remarks about me as if i personally offended the person in some way even though I’ve never spoken to the person prior to any of this, I decided to put my foot down and speak out due to the rising negativity she’d been spreading.”
Within hours of sharing the video on her Instagram, it received an overwhelming response with over 139k views, over 8k likes and many shares, as of Oct 7, 2023. Without taking the name of the person who has been defaming her, Lyngdoh has spoken her truth. She says she chose not to mention the person and even blurred the face in the video, she says, “Because the point of the video was not to tarnish or ruin the person’s name. It was not made in retaliation or revenge. Why I made it was to raise an awareness that must not be overlooked. Cyber harassment/bullying shouldn’t be brushed off as a petty or inconsequential offence. You do not know the repercussions of whatever hurtful things you say to somebody online.”
Only revealing that ‘the person’ is a ‘her’ or ‘she’, a year on from dealing with online harassment, Lyngdoh has not been able to reason out WHY she has been doing so or the intent of the person in question. “That is the question I and everyone else who heard about this still ask even now. I don’t know why she started and still continues to hate on me. I do believe I have always minded my own business and kept to my own as I always have and never once have I ever spoken to or bad about her or interacted with her in any way.”
In a peace loving, extremely cultured and urban society of Shillong, the extent of hate speech and conscious infliction of pain has been deliberate, asserts Lyngdoh. In the video, Lyngdoh showcases many instances where slurs were used against her and other artists from the music fraternity. Another local artist from the music fraternity, Debra Rynjah, who has been subject to similar online abuse from the same source explains why she stands by Lyngdoh. Rynjah states, “It’s absolutely crucial to support Jessie Lyngdoh in her stance against cyberbullying and the harm caused by attacks and defamation aimed at artists. I, too, am a victim of this issue, as my name has been unjustly tarnished over the course of a few months, taking a toll on my mental well being. It is crucial to prevent this from happening to anybody as it deeply affects mentally, and that’s why it’s vital to stand up against it.”
In fact, in solidarity with Lyngdoh’s plight, a wave of support pours in for positive engagement on social media and the need for artists supporting those from the field. Coining a hashtag #NoBulliesInOurTown, many have voiced their concerns and solidarity with Lyngdoh and how hate speech is not the way forward but positive engagement and words with reasoning is always the antidote for it. Many notable citizens who have given moral support to Lyngdoh are seen speaking on the video.
Additionally, giving their statements to Sunday Shillong, RJ Gordon from RadioMirchi stating why he stands by Lyngdoh says, “It simply stems from a responsibility in creating a safe and inclusive space within the music industry. Hate speech can create a hostile environment for artists and fans alike. When we stand together to condemn hate speech and support each other, we are creating a culture of respect and accountability that can help to combat intolerance and foster a community that is welcoming to all.”
Another musician, Meba Ofilia who also espouses Lyngdoh’s cause, says, “As a creator, I understand how important it is to acknowledge diversity and uniqueness in a community as small as ours, and the only way we can grow and branch out to different parts of the world with our music is by supporting one another.”
Hate Speech – a menace
Hate speech or negative talk on social media exists in the form of a tsunami because the extent of free speech sometimes does not know barriers. In many instances, sitting behind a screen plays advantageously spewing hateful words and comments. In Lyngdoh’s words, “Social media can be such a dark place. It can suck the life out of you. The past few days have not been easy and I cannot stress enough the fact that it really affects a person’s well being. I have been fighting this for so long since the time I started with music. Then again, I usually land up okay. I’m a cheerful person.”
Asking some of the people interviewed on their views on hate speech, here’s what they said –
“Hate speech and bullying are common because people feel so empowered by the anonymity of social media. They also feel emboldened to express their opinions without fear of consequences because of the normalisation of hatred and aggression in society to gain attention and a way to assert their dominance and control over others. Ultimately, though, hate speech and bullying are harmful and hurtful, and we need to do more to stop it” states Gordon.
Rynjah speaks on the budding trend of antisocial behaviour, “Hate speech and bullying reflects on one’s upbringing, their values and morals often driven by feelings of insecurity, low self esteem, or untamed anger, which push them to target people that they perceive as different or vulnerable.”
Rynjah further presses on the understanding of using and abusing the freedom to express, she adds, “The presence of social media has also exacerbated the issue where people are quick to comment and opine on matters for seeking validation and popularity. We are all entitled to our opinions but there is a thin line between providing constructive criticism and bullying someone. Freedom of Speech and Expression is a fundamental right but it should not be abused.”
On the need for spreading awareness, Ofilia emphasises, “Spread Awareness. Approach the higher authorities. Speak the truth. Even if it doesn’t change the bully, it changes everyone around her/him.”
Remedial and Seeking Help
Interacting with Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Patient and Family Counselling and Support Services Department, The Children’s Hospital, Lorina R Basaiawmoit, and her thoughts on social media as a source of anxiety, stress and mental health. Basaiawmoit says, “Yes, in fact one of the biggest triggers of stress, anxiety is the use of social media. I call it the portal to hell or heaven, depending on what state of mind, sense of self or purpose you’re using social media for. Yes, there are positive uses of social media, but using it is a form of escape. It’s a place one can hide their true self or show their true colours behind a screen. It’s a place people go to get a sense of fulfilment or validation for their insecurities, or lack of attention.”
Revealing that in her case, psycho-social issues related to or impacted by social media are
dominant especially in adolescents and youth ages 13 to 25. In a week, Basaiawmoit receives 5-10 cases. “Some issues we deal with are difficulties in sleeping, poor academic performance,over- thinking, anger issues, low self esteem, anxiety, self- harm, bullying(online and in-person), self image issues, interpersonal relationship conflicts, stalking etc. to name a few.” says Basaiawmoit, explaining some of the after effects.
On the issue of cyber bullying, negative propaganda and trolling that is rampant and also weighs heavily on mental health, Basaiawmoit expresses, “I look at bullying from a Spectrum perspective, because bullying as an issue is huge, and has varying degrees of the types bullying and their impact on each person. Bullying these days is becoming worse by the day. The attacks have become extremely sadistic and personal. Victims suffer in silence, feel alone and isolated. The hurt festers and eats them alive.”
Prioritising online safety for one’s mental wellbeing, Basaiawmoit urges on the need for addressing the unfulfilled needs of the aggressor/bully. She says, “The bullies need help too! There are all kinds out there. Their actions stem from unmet or unfulfilled needs that are rooted in issues they faced or are facing from lack of emotional intelligence, self awareness and values. They use bullying to vent out and gratify themselves. Then there are people out there who are narcissists who think they are better than everyone else , they see no wrong in what they say or do, and they don’t have an ounce of empathy. For them it’s you today, it’s someone else tomorrow.”
Lyngdoh ends the interview saying, “We have to fight our inner battles, the initial struggles before it controls you. I am fighting it too. Let us all be more kind.”
All in all, Lyngdoh’s example is a conversation initiator for positive talk even on social media, the privilege and courage to be able to speak out and the fortune to garner support. However, many, if not all, may be as brave or have a sea of people standing as pillars of support like Lyngdoh. Therefore, polite words and constructive engagement by refraining from negative propaganda can go a long way towards building a resilient and conscious society tackling mental health complications aplenty in the age of social media.
**Since the identity of the person resorting to using hate speech was not revealed at any point in the video nor during the interview, hence he/she could not be approached for a comment for this article.