By Robert Clements
Cars, and Car Washers..!
“Our engineers burned the midnight oil to produce this car,” said the MD as he showed me into his factory in the outskirts of the city, “and after the lockdown, we thought this was just the car for your highly strained pocket!”
“And this car will cost less than a lakh?” I asked surprised.
“Less than fifty thousand!” said the beaming managing director as he took me to the workshop area, “There’s it! The cheap car the whole country wants!”
“It’s beautiful!” I chortled.
“The paint we’ve used is the latest in oven finish technology,” said the MD proudly. “The gloss will retain its sheen even after a month.”
“There must be somewhere you have cut costs to price a model so low” I whispered in disbelief.
“Safety belts with imported buckles!” continued the MD.
“Superb” I said in awe.
“No nonsense seats that will wear out the toughest butt, before wearing itself out!”
“Unbelievable!” I exclaimed.
“Fibre glass bumpers that will not damage the car in front!”
“Nor the car behind!” I shouted with glee.
“Headlights with screw-on-bulbs!”
“Brilliant!”
“Tinted glasses!”
“Awesome!”
The managing director of the automobile company looked at me with unconcealed pride. “This is what the nation has been crying for!” he said. “Our shares will hit the roof!”
“You will be listed on the New York exchange too,” I said.
“People will praise us for being thrifty but nifty,” he said, “they will now have money left to put in their banks!”
“Yes,” I shouted.
“We’ll teach a new global philosophy, that cheap is cool!” laughed the MD as he gave me a high five. “Will you mention this in your newspaper column?”
“Of course,” I said.
“Let’s go to my office for some champagne!”
“Let’s take the car for a spin,” I said eagerly.
“A what?” asked the puzzled managing director.
“For a drive,” I explained pleasantly.
“It can’t be driven,” said the MD slowly. “For that you’ll have to install an engine.”
“It doesn’t have an engine?” I asked incredulously.
“What do you expect for fifty thousand rupees?” shouted the MD as he pushed me out of the workshop and onto the road outside. “A car with an engine?”
And as you chuckle, think about how we ourselves are fooled: “Are we fooled by political rulers who have no engine, which means no interest for the country? Policemen who sit in police stations, not willing to note down FIRS? Priests in religious places with no engine of spirituality in them? Corporate executives who do not have the growth of the company on their agenda?
Are we being fooled everyday with outer fancy work and no engines?
Look for the engine, the zeal and passion that should burn in people who lead and look after our welfare, and if we find no engine, throw them out; they are as useless as fancy cars that you cannot drive.
And now let me move from engineless cars to our car washers: An early morning activity is of cars being washed. Millions of gallons of water I am sure, is used by watchmen, pump men, man servants and maid servants to get their sahibs or memsaabs car looking spic and span!
But is that car of yours really washed?
Go out and have a look my dear friend and you’re going to be in for a rude shock. There right across your bonnet is the brown slush that the bus splashed across from yonder pothole. Near the fender is a black sticky stuff that you know came from the nullah your brave car waded through last week. And those hub caps!
Car wash or eye wash?
We look out of the window and see these car washers round the car and assume our car is cleaned. And that my dear reader is happening in all walks of life in our country: Thousands of municipal workers report for work every day and sign the muster roll and we take it for granted that we have a clean city. Do we? Look around you at the garbage piled up at the filth and dirt and ask yourself who is fooling whom.We elect representatives to municipal councils, state assemblies and into Parliament, but whom do they represent, themselves or us? We employ policemen, but those lazy and callous money makers sit behind old British era desks steadfastly refusing as I mentioned before to register FIRs of assaulted women!
Car wash or eye wash?
We have all heard the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. How the emperor was deceived into believing that his royal tailors were indeed making him a fancy suit when in actual fact they were doing nothing. They fooled him into believing that the fabric was so fine that it could not be seen. The emperor, fool that he was, was finally draped by the tailors in the actually non- existent clothes and thinking that he was wearing a suit of the finest kind walked down the road. The people, his subjects watched as their foolish emperor walked naked. No one had the courage to tell the emperor that he had been fooled. Finally, it was a little boy in the crowd who suddenly shouted “The Emperor is naked, the emperor is naked.”
The rest of the world are shouting that we are naked, but we strut around thinking our country is draped in silken finery, when actually we are naked; rapes, communalism and authoritarianism exists. Filth, muck, grime, sludge and foul matter are steadily getting ingrained into the delicate fabric of our country, as the car washers, our politicians, our police and leaders, fool us into believing we are clean.
So dear readers as you look at your car today, let it remind you of an engineless state we are in, and also likewise when you look at your unwashed car…!
The Author conducts a Writers and Speakers Course for schools, colleges and corporates. For more details call him on 9892572883 or send a message to [email protected]