Survivors break the silence on sexual abuse, appeal for greater awareness

SHILLONG, Oct 17: Silence and sexual abuse often go hand in hand, with victims frequently reluctant to share their stories or step into the light, for reasons known to many. However, on National Speak Up for Victims of Sexual Abuse Day, several survivors anonymously shared their struggles and trauma, confronting the stigma that surrounds these experiences and exposing the deep-seated beliefs that perpetuate a culture of silence and shame.
“For a long time, I thought it was my fault. That’s what society often tells us, right?” questioned a young woman who chose to remain anonymous. She added, “When I finally came forward, people questioned me instead of him. They wanted to know why he thought I was accessible when there were thousands of girls around. It felt like I was alone in this.”
Her experience was echoed by another survivor who has since moved away from the city. “These things are mostly hush-hush; you don’t talk about them. People don’t ask what happened; they judge you in silence, in the way they stop looking you in the eye,” she said. Her voice softened as she added, “It hurts being seen as damaged when you’re just trying to live.”
Another victim described her long journey toward understanding her experience. “For the longest time, I didn’t even know what happened to me. I thought something was wrong with me. It wasn’t until I gained awareness that I realized it was sexual assault, but by then, it felt too late to take action.”
The journey through the legal system often compounds the trauma, with survivors expressing frustration over the lack of sensitivity and support. “Therapy saved me, but I know many who can’t afford it or who wouldn’t know where to find it even if they could,” she mentioned.
There are more than 1,700 cases under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act pending in Meghalaya as of June 2024, which makes it more difficult for victims to approach the court due to the long-standing cases and the need to repeatedly recount the same horrible experiences.
The stories shared are not confined to gender; they reveal the layered complexities of societal norms and expectations. A young man, who identifies as gay, recounted his own trauma, saying, “I was violated by someone from my own family. I had to shut it down because of my sexual orientation. There was no way I could go to the police or lodge a complaint.”
These stories challenge the narrative of ‘not all men’ while exposing a troubling reality. “Why should we be scared? It’s not just a gender issue; it’s about what is wrong and what is right. Once a woman says no, that should be the end of it. This needs to be made clear to both men and women,” one survivor asserted.
Sexual abuse isn’t always violent; the underlying theme is consent. “The anonymity of victims is important. Even if they report the complaint, the barrage of social media abuse, judging their character and position, makes it harder to speak up. The problem is deep-rooted, rooted in mindset, upbringing, and education,” explained another survivor.
Furthermore, victim-blaming isn’t solely a male issue; women can perpetuate it as well. “We need to recognise that all victims are navigating the same unabashed patriarchy that exists in our society,” another survivor added.
All the survivors emphasized the need for enhanced education and awareness, including initiatives focused on teaching consent, boundaries, and respect from an early age to foster a culture that does not tolerate abuse. Community workshops and awareness campaigns are vital to dismantling harmful myths.
Additionally, the survivors highlighted the importance of accessible mental health support and streamlined legal processes.