By H.H. Mohrmen
This column was the first to bring to light cases of unusual names among the people of Meghalaya. Later, after reading the article, a young woman studying at a university in Delhi, with an interest in further researching the subject, contacted me. A few years later, she sent me the link to her paper on the issue, published in a reputed journal. Recently, when she went to cast her vote for the ADC election, Patricia Mukhim the Editor of The Shillong Times mentioned in a Facebook post the awkward experience she encountered because of her name.
“What’s in a name?” Does a name really have meaning? Perhaps some names do, but a name is not just an individual’s identity; in some strange way, it also has a connection to a person’s life. A name is something that not only identifies a person and differentiates them from others, but it is also something they carry throughout their life until death. A person’s name is unique not only because it is their identity, but in some cases, it also carries the charisma and aura of the individual and helps define them.
Names are not given at random; there is always some thought behind them. Parents often seek the help of close friends and relatives to suggest a name for their baby. Naming a person is also an important religious tradition. In Christianity, the rite of passage is Baptism or Christening. In the Niamtre tradition, the naming ceremony is known as “Chad Lane,” “Sib Syiñ,” or “Rim” in the War Jaintia tradition.
Names and the Stories Behind Them
In the “Sib Syiñ” tradition, family members—particularly ki kha (the child’s paternal relatives)—select a few names and present them to the person performing the ritual. During the ceremony, these names are offered one by one, and through divine intervention, the chosen name is marked as the one to identify the baby.
I believe there is certainly something in a name that connects it to the character and persona of a person. Otherwise, what would be the point of having a name? If someone were to ask me, “What is your name all about?” My answer would be that my name may not have a meaning, but it carries stories that are deeply connected to my life.
My name has a few stories associated with it, and strangely, these stories help define my identity and purpose. Yes, not every name has meaning, but mine has a story. My story began at birth when I was dedicated in the church. Since we do not practice infant baptism due to our belief that original sin does not exist, we perform a naming ceremony and child dedication instead.
When I was dedicated as a child, my name originally had just one “H,” followed by my surname. But how did I end up with two “H’s”? As a baby, I had only one “H” in my name, which I will reveal later. However, as I grew up, I made a conscious decision to add another “H” to honour my father. I officially added another “H” to my name when I filled out the Meghalaya Board of School Education form to appear for the High School Leaving Certificate Examination in 1984.
What’s in a Name?
There are two reasons why I have a double “H” in my name. First, I have two brothers—one older and one younger—and all three of our names start with the letter “H.” To avoid confusion, especially when only initials are used, each of us has an extra letter in our name. My eldest brother, Heibormi Treyoo Roi Mohrmen, uses “H.R.”; my younger brother, Heimonmi Treyoo Roi Mohrmen, uses “H.T.”; and I ended up as “H.H.” Mohrmen. Close friends even call me “Double H” or simply “HH.”
What the Two H’s in My Name Stand For
I mentioned earlier that the first “H” in my name comes from my father’s name, “Hamkhein,” which means “one who is fearless, cares, or bothers less.” I chose to include his name to honour him because, in our matrilineal society, I carry my mother’s surname and had no direct way to acknowledge my father in my name.
However, to tell the truth, another reason I added my father’s “H” was that I was embarrassed by my given name. That’s why I initially chose to use only my initials and preferred people to call me H.H. Mohrmen. My given name is “Helpme”—yes, an English word. And please don’t ask why my parents named me that, because, unfortunately, I don’t know. What I do know is that my parents were literate—my father studied up to Class 9, and my mother appeared for her matriculation (Class 10)—so they certainly understood what “Helpme” meant.
When I Realized My Name Was Unusual
I was never bullied or ridiculed for my name, but I recall an experience during my time at the Unitarian College in Manchester, UK. People were curious about how I got my name, and for the first time, I had no answer. When I was about to return to India, my fellow students organized a farewell party. They not only presented me with a newly translated Bible published by both Oxford and Cambridge University but also sang the Beatles’ popular song Help! I knew it was a playful gesture meant to lighten the mood. I wasn’t offended; in fact, I was pleased because the gift was handed to me by a girl my age who also gave me a peck on the cheek. She had shown interest in me before, so it was a double joy to be kissed by her. I even kept the lipstick mark on my cheek until someone pointed it out.
After the UK episode, I started to feel uncomfortable with my name, especially since my job involves taking care of visitors from abroad, mostly Americans and British. Imagine introducing myself and being asked, “What does it mean?” or “Why did your parents give you such a name?” These were questions I had no answer for.
Proudly Wearing My Name
Later in life, I changed my perspective and started embracing my name with pride. Helping people comes naturally to me, so my name felt fitting. When people thanked me for my help, I would often reply, “You don’t have to; it goes with the name.” After all, when someone calls me and uses my name, “Helpme,” they are literally calling for help!
I even joke that my name, Hamkhein Helpme, means “don’t care, don’t bother—just keep helping others.” Over time, I also developed a new interpretation of my initials. Though “H.H.” could stand for “His Holiness” or “His Highness,” which are lofty titles beyond my reach, I prefer to think of it as standing for Honesty and Humility. While it is difficult to always be honest and humble, I strive to embody these qualities in my daily life. Though easier said than done, these are the principles I live by. I know I will fall short of achieving these ideals, but I also know there is no harm in trying. After all, life is a constant struggle for self-improvement, a race where you stumble, fall, and rise again.
Facebook’s Opinion on My Name
Another interesting incident involving my name happened on social media. When Facebook became popular, I tried to create an account using my real name, but my registration was repeatedly rejected. Facebook deemed “Helpme” a fake name. To comply, I had to change my name. Now, my social media friends may understand why my Facebook name includes my father’s name, Hamkhein, but not “Helpme.”
Now, I am happy with my name. Everything that happened regarding my name has been for the good. As Steve Jobs once said, “You can only understand life by looking backward.” My name is not just my identity—it defines me.