By H H Mohrmen
While the debate about the unique identity of the tribes continues, the pertinent question is: what truly defines a tribe’s identity? What are the distinctive aspects of our lives that differentiate us from others and give shape to our identity? When we claim to be unique, what exactly is it that we possess that sets us apart from others?
Clan and Lineage from the Mother
The two unique aspects that define the identity of the tribe are the clan system that we follow and the lineage through the mother. These two social characteristics are not only still followed by the majority of the population, but they are also interconnected, and one cannot exist without the other.
The beauty of the system is that though lineage is from the mother, kinship is taken from both the mother’s and the father’s sides. These two aspects of society, namely the clan system and lineage from the mother, do not ignore the father’s side. The principle called ‘tip kur tip kha’ clearly encompasses and ensures that relations on both the mother’s and the father’s sides are respected. Though ‘kur’, the maternal clan, is the centre of a person’s life, relationships with those on the father’s side also occupy a special place in the life of a person. Besides that, a person is also related to the sub-clans that are connected to the mother clan.
Clan is not just a Surname
Clan is not just the second or third part of a person’s name; it identifies and determines to which clan and sub-clan a person belongs. There are two allegories I used to share in trying to elucidate the essence of the clan system among the Khasis and the Jaiñtias.
The first one was when I tried to explain it to Dr. Richard Ford of Clark University. I asked him, “Dr. Ford, is there any chance that you and Henry Ford of Ford Motors are related?” He said, “Not by any stretch of imagination.” Then I responded, “That is precisely the difference right there. If there is a Mohrmen, Myrmen, Lamin, Laloo, or Diengdoh anywhere in the world, and if he is from the Khasi and Jaiñtia Hills, I am certain that he is my relative whereas a Ford and another Ford, or two Mr. Browns, do not necessarily have to be related.”
Another story is related to my visit to Salt Lake City, Utah in 2009. Before I visited the place, my friends in Fairfax, Virginia, and Boston asked me, “What are you going to do in Salt Lake City?” I told them that I was going to see my relatives in the city. They were surprised and asked me, “You have relatives in Salt Lake City?” I said, “Yes, in fact, a lot of them.” I added, “Well, the Mormons, you know.” Then a very humorous friend, John Gibbon, said, “Oh yes, you go and visit your relatives, and they will give you a few more wives and you will never return to India.” The Mormons practice polygamy by the way.
Jokes apart, I only use the name of the religious denomination, “the Mormons” or the “Church of the Latter Day Saints,” which is popular in Utah and sounds similar to Mohrmen, to explain the significance of a clan in society in the Khasi and Jaiñtia Hills.
It all begins from the Progenitor of the Clan
Every clan has a genesis that revolves around ka Seiñjet or Ïawbei, the progenitor, from whom the clan originated. By tradition all the original clans would have their own origin story. I believe even the clans in the Khasi Hills that were established by the Tangjait tradition have their designated progenitors. Unfortunately, there are many clans that have lost their stories and do not know how their clans originated.
In the Jaiñtia Hills, the few clan stories that we still have are preserved because they are connected with certain religious rites performed by followers of Niamtre. We know about ka Bon, ka Teiñ, ka Wet, and ka Doh, who are the progenitors of the Sookpoh clan in Jowai; about the San Syngkong, the Shylla, the Pariat, the Pde, the Blah, and the Thangkiew; and about the Challam, the Mukhim, and the Shabong, because they are connected with traditions followed in Raid Jwai.
Similarly, the story of ka Bor Kupli and u Ïale, the progenitors of the Passah clan; the story of ka Ïawchibidi, the progenitor of the Lamin, Laloo, Diengdoh, Pariong, and Marngar; and ka Talang Basiah, the progenitor of the Talang, Nongtdu, Buam, Nialang, and Suting, are still preserved because these stories remain part of the traditions followed by the Niam Tynrai in Raid Nongtalang and Nongbareh.
The importance of clans
To understand the significance of the clan in a matrilineal family society, one must understand not only the status and role of the maternal uncle, but also the importance of the Ïungblai or Kmai ïung. Ïungblai is not only the hub of the clan, but it is also the sacred space where the sanctum of the clan is situated. The rites and passages of every member of the clan are performed at the Ïungblai. Perhaps, among those who no longer follow indigenous religion, the clan and the Seng Kur is the heart that binds the members together.
The final place that unites the clan is the clan’s Mootylleiñ Mootymmoh, ki Mujra ki Mukan, or the clan’s ossuary. In the matrilineal family system, a person belongs to the clan and is identified with his or her clan from birth till death and beyond. Not only ka niam riñ ka niam thang, or the member’s final rites, are performed by the clan, but even ka Siang ka Pha, or ancestor veneration, is continued by the clan. What tradition establishes is the fact that a person is known by the clan to which one belongs, and even death cannot divide them, because the charred bones of all those who belong to the same clan are kept in the same ossuary.
The Tangjait tradition
Tangjait is not only a tradition in which a new clan is established when a male Khasi marries a non Khasi female, but it also ensures that there is no contradiction in the matrilineal family system. When children take their father’s surname, there is confusion in relationships; the entire concept of ki kur ki kha collapses, and there is no distinction between the two. The Tangjait tradition ensures that kur remains kur and kha remains kha, and the two are never confused.
About Relationship in Marriages and Kinship
The clan is again not just a surname, but a foundation of relationships that begins with marriage and dictates who marries whom in subsequent unions between clans. The most preferred marriage is dei kynsai dei pangrai, and dei lai paruid is another layer of marriage through which relationships between clans are considered. Marriage is not only about love, but more about building a right relationship between the clans.
Marriage is not only about relationships between clans, but it is also about responsibility. Tradition prescribes that both ki chong kha and the ki khon kha have their own duties to perform during cremation or other ceremonies in their ki kha ki man. There was an incident when one of my father’s cousins died in an accident, and according to Niamtre tradition, he cannot be cremated at the cremation ground and should be cremated immediately. I was the only khon kha present then, and it was my duty to collect water needed for the cremation. The source of water was quite a distance away, and he was cremated at night, yet it was an obligation I had to fulfill.
It also reminds me of my father’s advice that I should respect my kha and that I should visit and support them, especially in their time of sorrow. He said it should not be an issue if I fail to visit them during their times of joy, but I must never fail them when they are in grief. Then there is ka Siang Pa, Siang Men and i Pynnam during ancestor veneration. These are acts through which children show respect to their father and to his family long after they have passed on.
It is about relationship
Tip kur tip kha is not just a phrase but a principle of life that one should imbibe in a matrilineal society. The foundation of a person’s identity is rooted in one’s clan, but tip kur tip kha ensures that kinship strengthens the relationship between the kur and the kha.
Clan and lineage through the mother is like two sides of the same coin, one cannot exist without the other. Without a clan, a person has no relationship and no identity in a matrilineal society. It is like a keystone in a wall; once it is removed, the wall will collapse.
