By Toki Blah
India apparently, is under the throes of a battle against corruption or is it a fight to bring in a law against corruption or is it someone’s attempt to push in an anti corruption law through ultimatums to parliament or is it a civil society outcry for better governance? I don’t know. It’s beyond me. I’m totally foxed. I admit it’s too serious a subject to joke about. Fine, but will some one kindly tell me what is going on? Or define what corruption is? How does one define it? What exactly does that term convey to an ordinary man on the street?
Let’s ask the man on the street; the Kong behind the beetle nut counter; the casual labourer; the maid who washes your clothes; the ones who struggles to make ends meet with 80 rupees a day. They in turn will ask “Is it really necessary for us to pay the Rangbah Shnong 100 rupees for recommending our ration card application?” Any one with an answer? Sorry, I don’t know!
I mean one would like to have some clarification on the Indian perception on corruption. From all evidence available, an Indian sincerely believes that everyone else but himself is corrupt. It’s called the sanyasi syndrome. We are prepared to go to ridiculous heights to prove this national view point. The cause perhaps for the current extraordinary outburst of suppressed self righteousness as we watch Team Anna demanding for their Jan Lok Pal Bill! Well, is it? Frankly, I don’t know!
The ordinary Indian, given half a chance, then goes on to do something he considers patriotic – to convert everyone else and bring them back to the straight and narrow. It’s called “Let’s clean up the mess”. We have a proven strategy on how to achieve this. It’s quite simple really. No high tech manoeuvring involved. No lengthy research required. It’s a home grown remedy. Wonderful indigenous stuff. Simply go on a Fast onto Death.
By this time the reader must be completely convinced that the writer is trivialising a matter of national importance. Must be off his rocker. Mad beyond redemption. My contention however is that, in India today, a fast unto death to make everyone else agree to one’s view point, seems to be the order of the day. I mean a ‘Fast unto Death’ threat gets not only immediate media attention but brazen media support at that. Becomes the hottest news item on every national TV channel, other international channels ignoring the event not withstanding.
The fact remains however that a “Fast unto death” game plan, even if later compromised into an “No one really needs to die” exercise, propped up by an official assurance that no one will “ever be allowed to really die”-is too much of a headache for an ordinary person to understand. Try comprehending an Indian patriot’s definition of ‘Fasting onto Death” and you might easily go bonkers yourself. Not worth the effort. If the Chinese have a copyright to Chinese Puzzles we Indians can now claim IPR over a “To die or not to Die” riddle.
Another puzzle. How come others have failed to recognise the efficacy of this “to Die or not to Die” strategy. Why have the Americans or Al Qaeda or the recent rioters of Birmingham, not taken up this extraordinary form of convincing others ( less charitable souls call it emotional blackmail) is not exactly known. Look man it can literally shake up the Government, it’s that powerful. One has simply to threaten a fast unto death and all opposition withers away in front of your eyes.
Cabinet ministers will receive you at the airport; the Government will arrest you; but it will then haggle for your immediate release; this will convert thousands of curious onlookers into ardent supporters of your cause; you will finally be released to do whatever you please (why you were arrested in the first place shall never be explained) and you become a hero in the process. A ‘Fast unto Death’ exercise makes others do your work for you. It’s better than the old Indian rope trick. Even better than a circus.
But I transgress. Let’s get back to the original topic of corruption. Lets talk about the Jan Lok Pal Bill that apparently is the cause of the whole natak. It needed a fast unto death threat, to get the Indian Parliament to discuss corruption. What joy! It then turns out that the PM forgot to bring his magic wand. Further joy! The Opposition overwhelmed by this unexpected political bonanza, has lost all sense of direction as a serious political party and its voice as well. Has everyone gone crazy? Don’t ask me. I don’t know.
Indians believe that corruption in public life is a national shame and should be done away with. Everyone agrees. Problem is no one seems to be quite sure how. Cocking a snook at the idiot who prefers to stand in the queue is a national pastime. Fact is, we are a people who simply love to cut corners and we do so with relish. Chai ka paisa helps ease the way by greasing the palm! We already have a myriad of laws to deal with graft, corruption and what have you. Who gives a damn? They are never made use of. As Indians we refuse to acknowledge the Rule of Law. But here we are, demanding for more laws. For a law to supersede all other graft laws and going into a fast unto death to get such a law. Its confusing but everyone is having fun! Isn’t this fun? I don’t know.
In the meanwhile the image of the PM searching for a magic wand haunts the nation like a bad dream. A Pnar observed “Ari, kamwon sang la thung Prime Minister ki da u Maan ma Han?” (How did we elect a duck as PM? This tribute to ducks says it all.
Scandinavian countries are least hospitable to all forms of corruption. It appears they have invented our PM’s missing magic wand. India is a rising super economic power. Everyone is more than willing to trade with India. I mean we wouldn’t mind signing an MOU for an imported version of such a wand. We might however be in for a surprise. The imports might just be gift wrapped versions of Good Governance which incidentally Indian politicians and policy makers have chosen to ignore for the last 60 years. So do we call for the introduction of Good Governance? It might just wipe out most of those colourful but useless politicos we managed to cultivate. It might just make a fast unto death exercise irrelevant in the future. It might however just help bring in real and meaningful development. It might also help throw corruption out of the window. I don’t know. One never knows. One can only hope!
(The writer is President, ICARE)