By HH Mohrmen
The traditional Khasi Pnar etiquette was penned for the benefit of posterity by Radon Sing Berry with the support of likeminded individuals like Hajom Kissor Sing and others. The two part booklet aptly named ‘Ki Jingsneng Tymmen’ is still the authority on the subject when it comes to understanding Khasi Pnar etiquette (ka Akor Khasi Pnar). But with the advent of the new technology like cell phones etc, this much talked about etiquette that we proud of is in for a big change.
During our childhood days very few families who had a telephone connection and those houses were easily identifiable because of the metal wires connected to the telephone exchange. My family did not have a telephone connection then, because they did not need one. Later, I needed a telephone connection which took me almost three months to get. Of course I know of people who get their telephone connections within a few days of applying for the same but that is a different story. Those were the days when the department of telecom or DOT was the sole telecom provider in the entire country and anybody who needs a telephone connection had to grease the palms of those who rule the roost from a coolie to an officer.
The situation has changed after the advent of mobile phones in the state. Initially for about a year or two only the residents of Shillong had the opportunity to own one and the service was provided by Reliance Company. Residents of Jowai had to wait patiently for the good old DOT later rechristened as BSNL to provide the service to the people of the town. Now, there is no village in the state without mobile phone reach no matter how far flung the place is. It is not an overstatement to say that if there is any revolution that has changed the way people live, it is the mobile phone or the cell phone as some would call it. The impact of the mobile phone on people’s lives can only be compared to that of the television in its many incarnations from a monopoly service provided by the state-run Doordarshan to the Cable TV provider and now the set-top-box which provides digital quality pictures to even the lowliest of homes. Mobile phones have also introduced a new vocabulary. Now even in the village one can overhear words like ‘message’, ‘missed call,’ ‘ring tone,’ or ‘dial tone’ cropping up in conversations.
People from every walk of life own at least one mobile phone set even in the villages. It has become an important part of our lives. Earlier when there is a bereavement in the family, one would have to spend money to send people to inform relatives who live at a distance; now the mobile phone has changed all that. However, the mobile phone also creates both adverse and positive impacts on the life of the owner and those around him. Let me start with this example from Shillong. I attended the wedding (iathoh tymmen) of a close relative during the early days of mobile phone. The ceremonial service was all quiet and solemn till the pastor’s own cell phone started ringing. Personally I find it most irritating to hear cell phones ring while the church service is going on or during funeral rites when the proceedings are expected to be quiet, solemn and somber as a mark of respect to the departed soul and sympathy to the bereaved family. The Hebrew Bible says that during Moses’ time, God commanded Moses to take off his sandals because the place where he is about to step on was holy ground. I think the new Khasi Pnar etiquette or mobile phone manner is to switch off the cell phone before entering into any religious ceremony.
Visiting friends and relative for important discussions is difficult these days. At times while the discussion is in progress, all of a sudden someone’s cell phone starts ringing and the call will continue for few minutes. By the time the call is over the discussion has to start all over again or the topic has changed since friends and family involved in the discussion have lost track of what they had discussed earlier. Even meetings are disturbed by mobile phones, especially if it is the chairman’s own phone is ringing. Interestingly some members feel proud if their phones ring during the meeting because that will create an impression on their fellow members that they are busy people. The more the number of calls they receive the better it is. Then we also have another category of people who like to receive calls when there are people around them as this will be an opportunity for name-dropping. You often hear people respond to a caller saying, ‘Call me later, I am in a meeting’ or ‘I am in a meeting with so and so,’ if there is a VIP in the meeting. I think it is only fair to other members in the discussion or the meeting that one should always keep one’s mobile phones on silent mode while paying a visit to friends and relatives or while one is in a meeting; but more importantly when one is visiting the sick. If it is an emergency call that one needs to attend immediately, it is only appropriate for the person to excuse himself and take the call outside and not distract the attention of the other members of the meeting and also disturb the proceedings of the meeting.
Texting is less disturbing to others but it is no less irritating to those around because sometimes the person may be physically present but his mind is somewhere else. Of course one will often hear young people say that they have be multi-tasking. They claim that they can text, listen to their favourite music and even read a book and can still hear what you say. Sometimes texting has taken away the good, old, friendly discussion because people text to each other even when they are in the same room. Again the reason is multi-tasking. Texting has also corrupted the good old English language. Text language is what only young people understand. Grown ups take some time to understand what lol, brb, gtg, lmao, btw, fyi omg or bff means.
Texting can also hamper young people’s vocabulary (this is only my opinion, I am not citing any study here) although young people will differ with me on this too, again, because they claim that they can multi-task. One thing that we all agree to is that texting while driving is very dangerous because it not only puts the life of the driver in danger but it also endangers the lives of pedestrians or people the other vehicles too. But I was shocked to see Reliance’s advertisement of the company’s wireless internet tool on television in which the company wants us to think that driving is a game and it even encourages users to use their laptops and their wireless internet tool while driving. This is the business ethics that we follow in India! Compare this to the AT & T advertisement in which the company spends money to advertise against texting while driving. So much for Reliance’s corporate social responsibility! No wonder some of the corporate honchos of this company are now cooling their heels in Tihar jail. Reliance should pull this advertisement off the air waves in public interest.
Let’s remember that it is not only fashionable to flaunt an expensive handset, but it is equally important to be careful when and where to use our mobile phones.
(The writer is a researcher and a social thinker)