By Toki Blah
Where do I begin? A tough choice but for starters let’s take a closer look at the composition of the 2013 Legislative Assembly. I mean it’s inimitably unique in its fundamental makeup as it reflects as no other feature can, Meghalaya’s cry for political stability. A critical look will also immediately show that from the looks of it, Meghalaya can proudly proclaim it now has a ‘Dream Assembly’, the envy perhaps of other states. Four women MLAs and we could have even made a neat half dozen had we not missed that target by a cat’s whiskers. A triumph of sorts for matriliny when one fourth of the Cabinet is made up of ladies. The Home portfolio for the first time goes to a housewife, in a societal makeup that seriously believes that the world will end if ‘hens are allowed to crow’! It’s one up for women empowerment. Then again with Urban and Social Welfare in the hands of ladies, what else can we expect but improvement in the management, governance and overall performance in these two departments.
This Assembly also takes the cake as far as accommodation of incumbent and ex Chief Ministers is concerned. Imagine, just imagine; there are four ex CMs in the Legislative Assembly. India Today’s ‘State of the States Reports’ might show Meghalaya as short of everything in the developmental index. We can however boast, with no sense of false modesty that we are never short of Chiefs! But the best is on how they are allocated their respective roles as per the situation they find themselves in. One has been made to cool his heels as leader of the opposition. The consolation – presiding a shadow cabinet is better than being eclipsed altogether at the polls. Another is expected to decorate the State Planning Board with the elegance of his past experience. The third, to add grace, poise and style to the party through the dignity of his white hair. The youngest of them all, to hold the reins of Government. What a setup!
The world we live in today is an entirely different world from that of our forefathers. In times of yore, a generalist approach to life would probably see you through. That no longer applies today. The 21st Century is a world where expertise is required in almost all aspects of life. One needs to be an expert to survive and experts are the resource persons who can pass on survival skills to the rest of humanity. Thank God the Meghalaya Assembly has a surfeit of survival experts, people who can impart invaluable lessons to the rest of us. If there is ever need for expertise on how to survive a kidnapping without paying a paise, there is no need to worry. We have such an expert. Need to scan the militant mind on how to clandestinely criss cross international borders with impunity? Again no worry. Need to survive a militant attack while on the campaign trail? Kya baat hae Bhai! All the expertise is available here with us. Bhagwan ke kasam, yeh to mar khaya hae Hindustan !
While on the subject of expertise, one of the most sought after experts in today’s world are financial consultants. These are wizards who advise you on how to make a quick buck in the quickest time possible from almost nothing. In Meghalaya we have them ready made in this Honourable House. There are some who have made it in the short span of five years while others have taken more time. All the same, it’s something like ‘Koan Banega Krorepati’ but on a really more sophisticated scale. Answering right questions is child’s play. The real McCoy lies in knowing the right strings to pull. Unfortunately this entrepreneurial skill of our legislators is generally not appreciated. Perhaps it’s because of the successful entrepreneur’s reluctance to share the spoils with others. This of course is just a conjecture, as on the other hand, there are thousands who swear that in the recent elections, one thousand rupee notes were being distributed like confetti. But of course this again is hearsay or to put it in the local lingua “Ba shu ioh kren ka briew!”
Someone mentioned that Health and efficacious Health Care is a major concern for Meghalaya. Health should form an integral part of the developmental infrastructure. So does Meghalaya have it? Well even if this is not fully in place, not to worry. The state is steered and guided by a qualified Medical Doctor who will surely not forget his initial calling. In a Democracy critics will always be there of course, but what the Hek, we are assured that our physical health requirements will be fully addressed while at the same time our spiritual wellbeing too will not be neglected. To ensure that there are adequate safeguards against the Legislative Assembly’s spiritual deterioration, a Doctor of Divinity has been thoughtfully included as a member of this august body. The link to the Man upstairs shall always be maintained, come what may. Never know when an emergency might arise that calls for celestial intervention. Always handy to have someone with the qualifications to make that direct STD call. Hae Na?
One thing about Meghalaya is that we are never short of pessimists. People who are born to always see the dark side of things. These prophets of doom have already forecasted that the mandate this time is sure to bring out the worst in our society. They speak of inevitable confrontations between civil society and the establishment; of agitations to be spearheaded by frustrated youth and students. The argument is, since the so called ‘old foggies’ never seem to learn as to what makes our youth tick, youth will have no other option but to go on the rampage. In the present Assembly there are youthful representatives who not only are acquainted with what our youth want but who are also experts as to what triggers a youth agitation. We have the Ex Presidents of three student and youth organisations, experts with vast impeccable credentials on how to bring a Government to its knees. Within the context of this write-up lets call them ‘the Mandelas of Meghalaya’ – people who have been there and who are now on this side of the fence. Social Engineering in the making where their swords are turned into ploughshares and their spears into pruning hooks. What a wonderful turn of phrase!
One definite indicator from the last elections, as mentioned above, is the desire for political stability. People are fed up of retiring for the night under one Government to wake up next morning under a different Government. Imagine the trauma if early one morning you were to ring up and say “Good Morning Sir, it’s me Bah so-and so. How is Madam Sir? I hope she has recovered from her herpes attack. Sir, I just wanted to know if your good self have signed that work order for the 50 crore tender we discussed about last night?” Back comes the reply “What tender? Who are you? What bloody herpes? I buried my beloved wife five years ago so how dare you talk about Madam and her herpes. Please talk to my PA if you have any work with my office” and the phone is slammed down. It defeats the very purpose of being close to any VIP; of financing his election; of contributing to his party; of standing him a good dinner; of discussing with him life and death matters regarding 50 crore tenders and work orders, if that VIP can’t even survive the night and all your efforts and dreams of a cool 50 crores end up in naught? I mean what’s the point if the next overnight VIP refuses to even acknowledge your name, or the existence of a 50 crore work order deal? Man, we need stability. We need it desperately. It’s as simple as that. Amen and God Bless!