By Yadawanka Pala
We haven’t been outside in thirty-six days and in all of them, my Mother tirelessly made sure we were okay. I watch her jump to a sneeze and anxiously ask who among the three of us coughed the night before. I watch her wait impatiently for the fourteen days to pass since my sisters arrived from Mumbai. Her face lit up at the breakfast table with make – do recipes and then come up with an even lengthier grocery list than the week before.
It was only until a time like this that I learned to see my mother in a different light, which made me think of a statement I read somewhere: “Mother’s Day as an Anti-War Movement.” At first encounter, I laughed as I pictured my Mother playing the lead role of an activist. She is the strongest person I know and fits the description perfectly which made me proceed to read more about it.
Truth be told, I came across the statement as I was digging up the internet for thoughtful Mother’s Day gift ideas and DIYs since gift shops were temporarily suspended, allowing only “essential services” during this global lockdown. Little did I know that a statement so random, would revamp my petty annual trips to Hallmark every second Sunday of May.
History says, “Mother’s Day” dates back to 13th Century ancient Greece where people assembled every Spring in honor of “Rhea, Mother of Gods” but it wasn’t until 1914 when it was officially recognized as a“public expression of our love and reverence for our mothers.”
Feminist, Anna Jarvis who was one of the founders of “Mothers’ Day Work Clubs” acclaimed the holiday’s recognition during the U.S. Civil War. Initially the women of that time were given lessons by this club on how to be of liable help to both children and soldiers (to lessen the number of deaths), but when the War came to an end, Jarvis continued to work on transforming the club into an organization which then led to the peace movement called “Mothers’ Friendship Day” in 1868.
Jarvis hit a pinnacle in 1905 when her Mother passed away. She then altered to aggressive protests to fight for women’s recognition and appreciation which progressed into a revolution in 1907 where she led another massive protest to put “Mother’s Day” on the calendar.
Today, Mother’s Day is celebrated on different dates worldwide (first day of Spring in the Middle East, close to Easter in UK and the second Sunday of May in countries like U.S., India and China) but they all have one thing in common: making profit.
A 2019 report from the Nation Retail Federation (NRF) states a record-breaking profit of $25 billion on Mother’s Day which is an embarrassment from what Anna Jarvis struggled to achieve all her life. Although she was particularly famous, Jarvis never profited from her achievements. In fact, she used up all her resources fighting against the commercialization of the holiday and left the earth penniless.
Years after her death we continue to alter the day’s inception by purchasing gifts, flowers and jewelry. This Mother’s Day however, I did not want to simply give in to that (even if Mother’s Day wasn’t amidst a pandemic). Not after I have read this great historic piece about Anna Jarvis and not when my Mother worried herself to sleep or put herself in danger every time she was summoned for duty at the Disaster Management Centre.
So instead I chose to gift her one of the many things she has always encouraged me to do – to write.
Similarly, some “home chefs” may resort to making your Mother’s favorite dish, or take over the household chores for a week and maybe, just maybe, organize an event in the backyard?
Whatever the level of creativity or the depth of thoughtfulness, this year we celebrate Mother’s Day with an added knowledge and a reminder that before they are “mothers” they are “women” first. As Julia Ward Howe said in the 1872 Mothers’ Day Proclamation: “Arise, all women who have hearts/ Whether your baptism be that of water or of tears.”
Dear mother, on this second Sunday of May, I want to say ‘ThankYou’. Not for the duties you have performed as an exceptional mother but for being a selfless woman who chose motherhood over career, love and life itself.