By Yohana Mawrie
As children we’ve all had big colourful dreams of how our lives are going to be. Everything seems possible; everything seems like a clear cut road in the eyes of a child. There are people who get to live out their childhood dreams as adults. However, life can be very unpredictable at times and many people have to make new dreams along the way. Being an adult is not easy and I’m sure you will all agree. It’s ironic how we could not wait to grow up (at least for some of us). Sometimes it’s difficult to see the colours that we visualized as children. Pressures from work, family, society, health etc can blacken everything out. Nevertheless, we get up every morning and are grateful for a brand new day. If only this is the case for everybody! Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all walk hand in hand towards tomorrow with ease?
There are many people who are just like you and me, who struggle daily to just get out of bed. They battle their demons who deny them the strength to see a new day. Some win their battles (by seeking help) while some tragically do not. Every year about 800,000 people die by suicide worldwide (World Health Organisation). About 17 to 20 percent suicide rates are from India. That means every 40 seconds, someone loses their life to suicide. Moreover, there are more than 20 suicide attempts for each suicide. According to the latest data provided by the Meghalaya Police, year 2018 saw 189 suicide deaths which is the highest for the state. In 2005, the number of suicides was 71. That is a 166 percent increase!
The causes of suicide vary from individual to individual. In 2018, 72 individuals died by suicide for causes unknown, 29 individuals due to marriage related problems, 21 individuals due to illness, which showed mental illness to be the leading cause and 16 individuals due to drug or alcohol dependency. Other reasons include love affairs, unemployment, suspected or illicit relations, death of a loved one, family problems, failure in an examination and fall in social reputation. The data also revealed that there is a stark difference in the percentage of men and women who die by suicide. There are more men than women who lose their life to suicide. This should not cloud the fact that the attempt at suicide is much more than the rate that people die by it. The reasons may vary but it is a question that as a society we need to ask ‘why’?
In India, there has also been an increase in the suicide rates during this pandemic. It has been reported that there have been more than 300 suicide deaths which were ‘non-coronavirus’ related. It was triggered by the nationwide lockdown. The causes were distress, fear from contracting COVID-19, starvation, withdrawal symptoms and financial distress. The rate at which suicide is increasing is alarming. Suicide attempt is an act of harming oneself with intent to end one’s life but not to die of the attempt. Suicide is an act of harming oneself to end one’s life. It is a major health problem that has affected people irrespective of age, education, socio-economic status, religion and gender. People’s untimely death is not something we should ridicule, mock or take lightly. It is a serious problem that requires the right kind of help. People who die by suicide feel a deep sense of hopelessness and helplessness. Having suicidal ideation is not by choice. Who is at risk? As stated earlier, suicide can happen to anyone. It is important however to know who are more likely to be at risk. i. People who have depression or other mental disorders. ii. Family history of mental disorder. iii. Had previously attempted suicide. iv. Family history of suicide. v. Exposure to others who have died by suicide. vi. Alcohol or drug dependency. vii. Family history of alcohol and drug dependency. viii. Prolonged illness or health related issues. ix. History of abuse, trauma or family violence. x. Stressful event in a person’s life such as death of a loved one, end of a relationship, loss of a job, a global pandemic etc.
What are the warning signs? We cannot predict suicide. However majority of suicide cases are not sudden. We can help prevent it by paying attention to the warning signs. : i. Talking about death, wanting to die or killing oneself. ii. Talking about being a burden to others. iii. Feeling hopeless or having no purpose. iv. Excessive sadness or moodiness. v. Dangerous or self-harm behaviour. vi. Withdrawing from loved ones or feeling isolated. vii. Losing interest with what they once considered interesting. viii. Decline in academic performance. ix. Start giving away their belongings for no reason. x. Change in sleeping and eating habits. xi. Behaving recklessly or acting anxious and agitated. xii. Excessive writing or drawing of death related topics.
So how do we help? Recognizing the warning signs is our first step towards helping an individual at risk. Warning signs are a cry for help. If we see some of the warning signs (this may sound controversial), ask the person if they are thinking about killing themselves. Yes ASK. If they are, we need to make sure that we remove all objects that they may use to harm themselves. Be there for them. Talk to them and listen. Be an emotional support system.
To help we need to remove all judgments and preconceived notions that we may have. If we do not understand why people think about suicide, it is important to educate ourselves on the matter. Remember suicide is not a sign of weakness. It is an illness. Hence it is crucial to seek treatment from mental health professionals such as counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists. They are trained to help individuals who see suicide as the only option. They are trained to give the right kind of help. For those who feel there is no way out, please remember that it is only temporary. There is plenty of help. They only need to reach out; talk to someone.
As a society we need to remove the stigma attached to suicide or any mental illness. There can be no change if we are not willing to understand. It is a myth to say that talking about suicide will lead to and encourage suicide. Talking about suicide will actually help reduce the stigma around it. It will encourage people to seek help, to share their stories and to learn healthy coping skills. “Suicide is a layered, complex issue. It’s not simple, and we all need to work together” – Jonathan Frecceri. Everyone’s life is valuable. We need to address this issue. We need to start a dialogue.
(Yohana Mawrie is Assistant Professor Department of Psychology Martin Luther Christian University Email id: [email protected])