Sunday, December 15, 2024
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“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust”

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By Rev. Lyndan Syiem

There is an unmistakable finality to the words of the funeral liturgy, “earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” This phrase was first used in the Church of England’s ‘Book of Common Prayer,’ published in 1549. The words are simple yet powerful because they describe so succinctly the finality of death and the stark reality of earthly disintegration. It does not matter what creed you believed, what ideology you professed, how much wealth you possessed, death is the common end. It does not matter what method your pall-bearers followed, whether burial, or cremation, or disposal to birds of carrion, or burial at sea, the result is the same: ‘earth, ashes, dust.’ Perhaps the only exceptions are the Pharaohs of ancient Egypt whose corpses survive as mummies.
Contrary to popular perception, the exact phrasing is not found in Scripture, although the thought is derived from it. The Book of Common Prayer is the basis of many liturgies in the Anglophone world, from weddings to baptisms to funerals. While the Book has undergone several revisions, many of the original phrases still remain in the later editions and translations; with abridgements in some modern liturgies: “earth to earth, dust to dust.” On the occasions when I have to recite such words, I am also required to throw a handful of mud on the coffin down the open grave. Everyone follows suit. There is something decisive in tossing earth over the remains of your loved one. It signifies the chemical decomposition of what the deceased once prided as “my body, … my physique, … my beauty.”
What remains is what theists generally call the ‘soul,’ or more precisely, the ‘spirit.’ Some believe that the spirit enters either eternal peace or eternal torment, or waits in intermediate suspension; others believe that the soul transmigrates from one body to another. The materialists reject the notion that personality and consciousness survive after death. Among theists, some teach that personal merit determines the afterlife, others believe in divine grace through a Saviour. The materialists of course refuse to speculate beyond this present life.
Whatever your beliefs though, everyone agrees that funerals have an important social function: comforting the bereaved, providing closure to family and friends, bringing hope amidst their loss. Funerals are a transcultural institution. All human societies organize funerals, whether as a religious ceremony or as a civil function. Certain traditions are indispensable: reversing rifles and the Last Post in military funerals, draping the national flag in state funerals, tossing handfuls of earth, laying wreaths, and for Khasis, distributing kwai.
This pandemic however has affected such traditions and reduced the number of mourners. Usually, hundreds and even thousands would attend funerals. They were the audience during the tributes to the deceased at the penultimate function at home; they formed the procession to the final rites and rituals at the cemetery, or the crematorium. After the funeral, close friends and relatives would accompany the family back home. They took charge of matters and gave the family space to rest and to reflect on the passing of their loved one. In life, the family had given the best medical treatment they could afford; in death, they had bestowed the final honour in the company of relatives, friends and religious leaders. There was solemnity in funerals, dignity in the details and comfort through the ceremonies.
Unfortunately, since the pandemic we have had to shorten the rites and rituals and cancel the usual condolence service in the evening. Funerals for the COVID deceased are the most painful as the coffin from the hospital is not allowed inside the house. It enters the compound briefly for the family’s final glimpse, then the PPE-clad pallbearers quickly remove the body for burial or cremation. Funerals for the non-COVID deceased have relatively fewer restrictions; family members often express relief that they have full access to the body before the funeral. Our usual social participation in funerals has been diminished, the grieving process has been truncated, and the recovery of the bereaved has been affected.
Funerals have religious, social and cultural components. While pastors and priests perform the religious rites according to the prescribed liturgy, we are also mindful of government SOPs. Sadly, many of the social and cultural components have been abridged and even abandoned. In the past, people visited the bereaved family whether the deceased was rich or poor, whether the family had social status or were humble citizens. Every family was assured that relatives, friends and community members would come to comfort them. They would listen to stories of the deceased’s last days, receive the obligatory cup of tea and finally, discreetly palm their funeral contribution with the final handshake. All these are now conditional on the results of the RT-PCR test.
There have been cases where Containment rules meant we could not enter the house but had to speak and pray across the fence. Ten persons in white-and-blue PPE were allowed at the burial: seven from the Shillong Municipal Board, the pastor and two family members. It is heart-breaking when children and grandchildren are barred from accompanying their loved one on the final journey. It is tragic when they cannot physically witness their loved one being laid to rest, when they cannot directly hear the liturgy of comfort and hope, but must be satisfied with streaming on social media.
Khasis value funerals because they bring together even the most distant relatives, long-lost friends and old colleagues. Close relatives usually stay on for at least three days after the funeral to help with house-cleaning, receiving visitors and in moral support. Other communities prepare for religious ceremonies and formal receptions after the prescribed number of days. It was a system that worked very well and brought immense comfort and encouragement to bereaved families. Unfortunately, the pandemic has disrupted our traditions of funeral and mourning.
Death is not a pleasant subject, either to discuss or to write about in an article. But whether we like it or not, it forces itself into everyday life. More so during these COVID times when the media sends us daily statistics of infections and deaths. Most of the COVID fatalities are, humanly speaking, preventable, through obeying SOPs and mass vaccination. But when such deaths occur, it is our duty as religious functionaries to conduct the funeral. It is also our responsibility to comfort the bereaved family with Scripture, counsel and prayer.
Death is not an easy subject to write about. But we must speak to the bereaved, because during this pandemic many did not receive the consolation and support that they expected from others. Many are still grieving inside and are struggling with despair, anxiety and loss of hope. Some blame themselves for the death, some are angry with hospitals and health-care workers, others question the goodness of God. To such, I would humbly ask that you accept the frailty of the flesh, “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” Death will come to each of us, sooner or later. But beyond the grave, and here I speak my faith, the spirit survives. And if you will just believe, the tears of reunion will far surpass the tears of parting.

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