By Toki Blah
The other day a dear family friend dropped by. He had brought his SUV for servicing at a nearby workshop and while waiting decided to visit us. He is an aspiring candidate for the 2023 Assembly elections and quite upbeat about his chances of winning. As usual while chit chatting, the topic of conversation veered to corruption and then of course, with natural flow, to the infamous case of the collapsed Dome of the new Legislative Assembly building. We were having tea and he was in the act of popping a biscuit into his mouth, when suddenly his hand froze in mid-air, his eyes started to bulge and a sort of strangled, choked cry came from his lips. I became alarmed. “What’s the matter, What’s the matter” I asked in concern as no host would ever want a guest to choke while under his roof. (Elsewhere OK, but not while having tea in my sitting room.) I vigorously patted his back as he turned to me with a puzzled look on his face and whispered “What if I win? As an MLA I would have that wretched restored dome over me all the time. What if it falls again? Oh my God.” He left a pale, distraught man with the far reaching aftermath of a possible victory at the polls hanging heavy on his mind. And poor man I don’t blame him.
Yes, approaching the forthcoming 2023 Assembly Elections from a purely humanistic angle, it is quite justified for any contesting candidate to ask “What happens to me if I do win?” In the good old days, which incidentally will remain just memories, family members, concerned friends and the candidate himself would pose the question “What happens to me if I lose?”. People investing their life savings and at times ill gotten wealth, squirreled away for years, for contesting elections were therefore quite entitled to wonder about bad investments if they should happen to lose. Understandable. But things have taken a U turn since morning of May 22nd 2022 and the exact opposite question is probably troubling the minds of all potential contesting candidates with a winning chance. Some people are ready to invest crores in the polls. They will invest with an aim to win but now people are having second thoughts on the prudence of such suicidal ventures. Winning an election does mean two three notches up the socio-political ladder, but is it worth entering and working under a proven unstable structure with every likelihood of it collapsing again round your ears? The wretched dome might be reinstalled but who will guarantee it will not come crashing down again one fine day. Yes one is quite justified in having second thoughts on investing in elections and winning against the distinct life benefits that can accrue from losing! Let me tell you it’s a difficult, really dicey choice to make and the remarks made in this writeup are the genuine outcome of the love, respect and concern of a citizen over the welfare and well-being of his honorable elected representatives.
Yes what are successful elected MLAs supposed to do post 2023? That grand majestic edifice of a Legislative Assembly building that was to have inspired awe, admiration and deference from lay citizens would have been repaired and waiting for its title holders to enter and take possession of it. That’s what any self respecting building is supposed to expect once it is completed. But doubts are being entertained about this miserable eloquent structure under discussion. How can any happy, carefree, innocent MLA not entertain misgivings about winning for he will then be compelled to enter a proven unstable work space? The thought “Is this building structurally safe to work in?” is bound to seriously occupy his mind 24×7.
So let’s imagine the manner in which our MLAs will enter their new Assembly Building. Forget about that pompous strut of a garlanded conquering hero so lovingly associated with newly elected MLAs. I expect that this time they will be seen creeping into the Assembly, on tip toe, cautious as mice of any noise their entry might make and thereby lead to consequences that no one wants. One is accustomed to read the “Silence Please” notices associated within the ceremonial splendor of Parliament walls. This time round don’t be surprised to also read “Coughing is strictly prohibited. Violators may have to pay with their lives” signboards pasted on the walls. Noise can be dangerous to structures. If you don’t believe me read in the Bible what happened to the walls of Jericho.
Also don’t’ be surprised to come across suited booted, neck-tied personalities reeking with sprayed perfume, slinking about wearing sneakers instead of shoes. Leather shoes have a tendency to squeak loudly, which under the circumstances is hazardous to health but sneakers can also give one a head start if there is a sudden necessity to sprint for the exit doors. A scene playing out on the floor of the House would also be quite educative. Gone, Yes gone and out of Parliamentary vogue would be the usual thumping of desks and shouting, ‘I also want to be heard’ scenarios of the past. All communication henceforth would be in whispers, in dead silence. A, “Mister Speaker Sir, I hereby strongly and most vehemently oppose” shout of protest from the opposition benches, will now be a gentle and decorous whisper into the mouth piece. Health is precious so let’s have political unanimity of silence on this score, shall we! In this newly built, 127 crore Hall of the People, loud noise is taboo. Oh yes, fear and a clear and present lurking danger can really improve human behavior. Ego, pride, arrogance, sense of self importance can all vanish in the blink of an eye, if the threat of being squashed to death seems possible any given moment. Not that there is any intention of attaching such vulgar characteristics with our MLAs but don’t be surprised if the sudden unexpected clatter of a falling chair, causes an unbecoming Legislative stampede in a mad ‘The devil take the hindmost’ rush for the doors. Its abhorrent of course to parliamentary decorum which calls for dignity and poise within the hallowed chambers, but life is precious and to run from danger, is instinctive. Apportioning blame in such cases will only add injury to racing pulses and thumping hearts!
We can also turn our attention to other connected matters. Now the visitors’ gallery would simply turn into a vacant redundant chamber of no practical purpose. Seriously doubt if any sane and reasonable person would risk life and limb, listening to legislative astuteness and wisdom, while expecting the roof to fall on his head at any given moment. Don’t be surprised if the press and the media were to ask for reportage by CCTV to a screen some distance away from the dome. I also have this distinct image, I just can’t help it, of legislators listening in rapt silent attention to proceedings, while their craning necks and anxious eyes are fixed at the ceiling above on which a 50 ton concrete dome sits precariously. The usual degrading pictures of napping, snoring MLAs, minds absently wandering God knows where, will of course, thanks to slipshod construction, be a shame of the past. Everyone now will be alert and on their toes. Attention paid perhaps not on the matter under discussion but certainly on the ceiling and to any unexplained creaking sound.
Laws perhaps might not be the end product of such behavior but stiff necks are a certainty. Khasis are good in massaging and so perhaps massage kiosks outside the Assembly building would not be a bad idea. It could result in employment generation but its just a passing thought in trying to see positivity in a grim stressful scenario! Stress, tension and anxiety will also definitely be lifestyle ailments of Assembly sittings. For the palpitating hearts, NEIGRIHMS is just next door so no worry. The Assembly Secretariat may also have to think of a “work from home” paradigm for the staff. I have a sneaky feeling that that might be in popular demand from 2023 onwards but as this is a proven workable model of Covid days, I see no problems on the horizon in its implementation.
In the end, what mental picture does the saga of the Fallen Dome bring to mind? It’s a picture of Kalidas merrily chopping away at the branch on which he was sitting instantly comes to mind! That’s what the saga of corruption has wrought in fertile minds!