A high profile case of domestic violence against a leading businessman of the city has brought to the fore one of the most well-kept secret of polite society – domestic violence. There is a very thin line between domestic violence and sexual harassment. In the first case violence is usually inflicted by a husband (the physically stronger partner) on the wife usually inside the four walls of a home. Sexual harassment can happen at the workplace in colleges and universities where senior male professors acting as guides to research scholars demand sexual favours from their students. That such cases are not reported does not mean they are not happening. Its just that the victims are worried about their reputation and that of their families. Many wives put up with domestic violence especially if the husband is well-heeled and holds a good job and position. In the case of research students it would be difficult to find a new guide if they report the behaviour of the present one. Hence silence becomes an escape route.
The National Family Health Survey (NFHS) 4 recorded that Meghalaya has the highest rate of domestic violence among the North Eastern States of India. There is a misconception in the rest of the country and the world that Meghalaya being a matrilineal society, women enjoy greater privilege and would therefore not experience domestic violence. Nothing can be further from the truth. About 32% of married women admitted to having been beaten or physically maltreated. Domestic violence takes an ugly turn especially when the woman is beaten or hurled abuses by the husband in front of the children. In such cases the children experience mental trauma but cannot speak about what they witness since these are supposed to be closely guarded family secrets.
In the high profile case that came to light recently, the daughter is the complainant and the witness to the violence being unleashed on her mother. It can well be imagined what trauma she must be going through. Domestic violence is not just about the physical attacks but the verbal and emotional abuses hurled day after day that destroy the peace of the family and reduce the woman to a wretch. In several instances, women’s movements are controlled and they are even under surveillance. This occurs due to trust deficit between the couple. At other times when the woman confronts the husband because of his affairs with other women, she is silenced through violent words, emotional pressure and assaults.
The Meghalaya State Commission for Women gets several complaints on a monthly basis against domestic violence but there are many more women especially in the rural areas who simply take it and lump it. Often, women fear that if they call out the violence they will be abandoned/divorced and will then have to fend for themselves and their children since maintenance is something that only the educated class can claim if their husbands are government employees or working in the formal sector. For most women, therefore, life is lived daily between the devil and the deep sea. It is important for the judiciary to also be concerned with the growing number of cases of domestic violence against women that come before it and to take these cases with utmost seriousness.
