Oi Taxi…Please give
me a lift!!
For many years now, Shillong’s
taxi drivers have been subject
to extreme criticism over their perceived rudeness, lack of courtesy and general unprofessionalism.
This is not the tale of mere whiners having their chorus of dissatisfaction being heard but sufferers venting warnings of a rebellion.
There is a total mockery of administration, rules and etiquette when it comes to the famed ‘black and yellow’ honeybee styled cabs ‘buzzing’ busily throughout the day. The presidential fleet of ‘transporters’ sure have the attitude that takes them the extra mile in neutral.
These hunks who do not fear anyone and drive with the belief that they are actually providing free rides to people in their ‘personal cars’ have to be ascertained that our money fuels their engines and our laziness ensures that their seats never remain vacant. We the commuters are the reason they have a job that they are so proud of.
Needless to say, the cabbies have a ‘Putin-esque’ quality to them that even the President of Russian has to stand back and admire. It is rather amusing to see them turn their head away when a commuter pops the name of a place that he wouldn’t be driving through. “Bah! Leit Dhankheti?”…(no reply), “Bah! Leit Malki point?”…(hmmm), swaying the head in agreement to the wonderful destination.
Amidst the complaints, we have to look at the fact that it is their car at the end of the day and perhaps that justifies their ‘choice’ of destination and their ‘choice’ on the number of passengers they want to stuff inside like little white chicken ending up in a slaughter house.
It is the act of doing something differently that distinguishes one from the crowd. Shillong cabbies are en route to becoming famous and carving a niche for themselves in the competitive world of being a ‘driver’. Guess that explains the wonderful acts we ‘wrongfully’ label as absurdities.
While abroad we have the policy of no shared taxis and a strict minimum seating capacity, which makes the journey boring, the Shillong drivers have ensured that a conversation erupts between the packed passengers and giggles burst while trying to pull out the ringing mobile in a situation where moving a muscle is an achievement. Where else will one find passengers sitting with their legs spread so that the cabbie artistically changes gears between the thighs!
Moreover, the ride becomes fun when you know that you managed to acquire the taxi after putting up a great fight and after literally ‘proposing’ them a thousand times over. The gentle nodding of the head means a lot to the aching heart wanting to reach a destination.
Then comes the exorbitant rates of reserving which is more like a toddler being asked…complete clueless. Anarchy just gets beautified here. They do have a massive sense of humour when they sit relaxed and blurt out rates which are closer to the car’s EMI. After a heated bargain, the rates drop by FIVE rupees!
Tourists are here for a surprise. Shillong is the next Abu Dhabi when it comes to outrageous pricing but a Somalia when it comes to quality. A taxi reserved for Rs 400 will have its seats torn, floor mats missing and windshield cracked.
It is a matter of pride. Zero quality in full price! Being robbed in these cabs is just a part of the whole experience of being privileged to travel in one.
The association representing the presidential fleet of taxis and the authorities who are bestowed with responsibilities are interesting in themselves. They whine when the UPA government hikes petrol prices by a rupee but remain tight-lipped when fares double at the discretion of the cab owner. The pleas to have a tariff card has fallen on deaf years…perhaps to them, it’s an entire different meaning of have having ‘rates displayed’ in their profession. Who wants to be labelled?
So when they are having so much fun in their profession, why remain left behind? Now what can you do when you are over charged and least respected as an ’employer’? The simple answer here is …question and bug them with an arsenal of words (no abuses mind you!).
There are a series of questions tested by me and I successfully managed to evoke the ‘glare’ coupled with a response that sounded like, “I don’t want your fat behind in my car again!”
The top 5 questions that can be used to annoy the cabbies can be:
1. Can you drive a bit faster? I am getting late or maybe a bit slower?
2. I think it’s wrong, why are you overtaking?
3. Do you make good money driving a taxi?
4. You are so smart. Why didn’t you try another job?
5. Do you know how a taxi operates in London?
As we wait for the futile attempt of a brain growing to address the commuter’s plight, we are surely entitled for a little fun. Tariff cards, proper arrangements and mobility in functioning might be a reality in the future era so until then let’s carry on with the ‘brick for stone’ mode of functioning.
‘Taxi’ is a misnomer in Shillong. A respectful term to the tattered tin canisters hurtling about, ferrying people like little animals.
Next time, stop a taxi, just to tell the driver, “I am the reason for your existence!”