Editor,
Mr. James Perry’s brief commentary on our Khasi practice of Matriliny is not only commendable, it also ought to make us pause and think whether our age-old practice should at all be subjected to debate. Not that anybody asked, but shouldn’t our blood lineage legacy be considered too sacred to be tampered with? We need to consider hard questions such as whether anybody has the right to decide to reverse the practice that has been inherited since the genesis of our race? By what authority, status and special sanction? Who, actually, is qualified to remove our ancient landmark? And if someone is arrogant enough to say, “ I AM,” let’s consider the possibility that posterity might raise its fist against “I AM” and ask him /her who gave them the right to do such a thing and deprive us of such a unique legacy?
Let’s face it: our society is plagued with social problems not because of Matriliny but in spite of it. Patriarchal systems in every community, country and continent have problems just as bad, even worse. Stunning divorce statistics, substance abuse, abuse of women, moral bankruptcy, social unrest, and a whole host of other ills are happening everywhere – – even among the very economically advanced. But that’s no excuse for our own failure as a society. Again, in my humble opinion, maybe, the root causes of our society’s malady might be within ourselves because we fail to respect our common heritage of not just our lineage and other family legacies, but also our failure to safeguard the greater common good for now and for our tomorrow. Need we mention our personal vanity? Or the fact that we don’t value ourselves and do not take pride in who we are, and end up forever ‘the wanna be who will never be?’ (Indeed, Mr. Perry, besides an insular, parochial, macho mindset, it could also be the great “wanna be” mindset – – kwah leh phareng, etc.). But what’s wrong with being ourselves in the eyes of the world? As for ‘the wanna be’s among us, ours is an open and free society (THANK GOD!) so you’re free to copycat others. Just don’t try to change the rest of us because we love who we are.
Personally, I happen to spend quite a bit of my time away from our beloved Khasi Hills. I have had to answer interesting questions regarding our matrilineal practice. Those countless numbers of interactions have left people from different parts of the world amazed and more appreciative of us as a community. My husband is from a different country. Before I agreed to marry him, I shared with him about our practice. He was so impressed by what he heard that he told me he would never want to change something so beautifully unique and that I should keep my full name intact. Then he asked me if he should change his surname to mine. I told him I respected his practice, too, so he was welcome to keep his own. A Consular officer once asked me why my surname was not the same as that of my husband. After a few minutes of explanation about my roots, he smiled and was very helpful with the official work I had gone to the Consulate for. When I wrote my first novel TEILANG, I dedicated a whole chapter to the topic of Matriliny. Why? Because having spent a lot of my time living among other communities, I understand what our young men and women who work and study outside Meghalaya go through. People want to understand us, so they ask questions. A lot of them have expressed appreciation for that particular chapter because they are proud to be Khasi and proud of our unique legacy. So why can’t we come to terms with the fact that we are a unique community and that we should uphold the sanctity of that uniqueness by trying to be the best that we can be?
Yours etc.,
Yona M. Nonglang,
Via email