Dr Agnivesh Jyotiraditya
Kannankara
Social distancing and self-isolation bring challenges for everyone. But teens face a particularly hard time. Being a teenager is a long, slow process of growing physically as well as emotionally and becoming less dependent on family. Yet young people are suddenly being thrust back into the indoors, whether or not they want to be, during the self-quarantine days.
With schools closed, they remain cut off from the people they care most about, their friends. The initial euphoria about dodging exams will be replaced by realisation of all the things they’re missing — the classes, the sporting events, the performances, the parties, the hangouts, the gatherings, the end-of-exams fun.
On top of all that, there is a situation where they need to spend their entire time with parents and siblings. At a time when they want more control over their lives, they have suddenly got less. So what can be done to help?
Parental role
There needs to be some routine in the house in order to not drive each other mad. Parents and teens must sit down and plan about the need to find new ways to arrange the days — what children need to do like learning, exercise, friends-time, down-time and what parents need to do to make that possible. More structure should hopefully, mean less boredom.
There is going to be much more focus on home during these days. So teenagers must try to help parents with practical things — the chores and cooking, keeping an eye on younger siblings or cleaning surfaces. An atmosphere of ‘all in it together’ must be created which will help sharing the responsibility together. This will also instill the feeling of togetherness in the family.
At the same time, children must be encouraged to socialise. Screen-time rules may have to be relaxed since it’s vital for adolescents to keep in touch with their friends. Video or internet games with friends or relatives can be allowed to lift the spirits and keep them engaged without feeling bored.
Behaviour
Given the situation of lock down, there is no doubt that the teens will be relying on digital technology more than ever before. While this can be fine, values like the need to get enough sleep, learn new things, respond to suggestions by the teachers, to be physically active and to have face-to-face time with the family must be emphasised.
Parents need to accept that there will be times when they want to get away into their private space and try to make that possible. An open discussion in the family about the virus should help even the youngsters to get a perspective, and will also help them behave responsibly, even though they feel frustrated.
Young people are generally less likely to be affected by the virus as per the study reports available now though they certainly shouldn’t be complacent because their actions will affect others. So, for those who are inclined towards social service, they are well placed to be volunteers, for delivering food, essentials or medicines to people who are self-isolating or in old-age. Youngsters who feel their lives are out of control may find doing something positive for other people becomes indeed helpful to boost confidence and self worth.
An option also can be considered for teens to meet outside in twos and threes, if they maintain social distancing — staying two metres apart and not touching, strictly following the guidelines from government. But the most important point to follow is to explore the ways to bond with one’s own family, making use of the precious time to reduce emotional distance and strengthen the relationship effectively between the members.
Planning the future
The fact is that this might be the apt time to plan future activities for students — to take some online classes, to give a deep thought on what you want your future to be, the strategy to reach that goal and start working towards it by utilising the extra time on hand now.
The time the students get now can be used constructively to sharpen or learn new skills, to start a hobby, to take online classes and to prepare for exams. This will function as a foundation for any effort towards a secure future once the lifestyle is back to normal. Most importantly one must enjoy the time that is available now which might not have been possible during busy school days.
Health habits
The whole family must focus on the necessity to develop good eating habits to increase immunity and to maintain health. The teens need to understand the importance of consuming home-made hygienic food and to stay away from junk food. This will also serve as an opportunity to enjoy the deliciousness and affection in the food prepared by mothers. The youngsters must also develop the habit of regular exercising to eliminate their body fat, toxins and to keep their body fit and fine.
Dealing with anxiety
It’s understandable that teens will be sad about what they are missing. It’s important to acknowledge their losses – to show them that the family knows, these are not trivial things, and that it’s horrible to have to do without them.
Young people may find it hard to think about the future in difficult times. Reassurance from parents that this period will pass — and also that we may see things differently afterwards, so there could be opportunities to make the world better that they haven’t yet thought of, can be soothing.
Children must talk to their family about their concerns. Recognise that feeling anxious is completely normal. Make sure that any information is from reputable sources. The governmental information and the World Health Organisation (WHO) are all good places to start with. The WHO has some excellent advice, including to avoid looking at the news constantly, perhaps rationing oneself to a couple of times a day.
Teens must be encouraged to take control by structuring their days and setting goals for themselves. The family must try to see things from their point of view. Model good behaviour is highly essential – when the family is calm and rational, the young ones will be too!
Quick Tips
■ Take the opportunity to develop or enhance your reading habit, for educational purposes or for entertainment.
■ Try to spend quality time with family, maybe over board games, enjoying nature or watching movies. This will certainly help reduce feelings of loneliness.
■ Try to set aside a fixed time daily to keep up with studies. Although schools may be closed, there are videos and plenty of resource material available on the internet.
■ Use technology to keep in touch with friends and acquaintances who cannot be physically present with you. It will help you to feel more connected with the outside world and with each other.
■ Make sure to relax your mind and body with indoor activities like yoga or meditation which will help to take your mind off unpleasant matters.
■ Don’t forget to use this time to try and do things that make you happy like listening to your favourite songs, watching favourite movies or spending some time with your inner self.
(The author has written 14 books in five languages and holds multiple world records)