By Gloria Thabah
Charity is one of the most important tenets of many religions including the Niam Khasi. However, the definition of it can vary depending on religious beliefs. For some, charity is giving to those in need out of love and compassion. Others believe that it is helping others in order to receive favours from God. Still, many believe that it is doing good deeds in secret so that no one will know about them. No matter what the definition, though, all religions agree that charity is a virtue that should be practiced. Some religious traditions also see it as an act of kindness and love and often emphasize the importance of helping those who are in need. It is also often seen as a way to improve one’s soul and earn favour with God. While most religious traditions place a specific emphasis on giving to the poor, others see charity as encompassing a wider range of actions, such as caring for the sick or providing support to the needy.
It’s been taught to generations that, “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” But how blessed is it when you give in order to receive? Let’s face it! Charity is everywhere: From a dentist giving “free” medical check-ups to a pastor building homes for the poor. Experts call it “selfish giving” — when givers are looking to get back more than just the joy of giving. But where do you draw the line? When givers are giving in order to sell more lattes or enhance their resumes, is it a win-win — or is something else lost?
As someone who works professionally with charities, I understand the topic well and have also written several articles about the good work of humankind. But in light of recent events, this time I am compelled to write this article about the dark side of charity too. A few days ago a suicide threat note from a girl (name withheld) from the city went viral on WhatsApp. In the note, the girl confessed of having consulted a city- based dentist – Dr Suklang Syngkon from Mawkhar several times and also mentioned that the doctor had refused to accept any payment for his services saying that he runs a charity clinic. But a month ago, the girl (a student of class 11) received a Payment Notice demanding that she clear all her bills totalling a little over one lakh rupees in order to avoid a police complaint. Tired of the doctor’s demands, the girl threatened to commit suicide. Prior to this, the same doctor and his relatives were in the news for the all the wrong reasons.
This incident compelled me to ponder more on the subject. I think there is some validity to the idea that using activities that we would love to do anyway as a vehicle for fund-raising can be manipulative. Certainly, there are times when the participant portrays the event as something other than a personal achievement or dream fulfilled to encourage more giving. That’s often somewhat less than fully honest. It is very rare in my experience for anyone to run a marathon against their will to benefit a hospital, orphanage, or homeless program. And if that did occur, none of us should be party to it. Like the poorly construed argument that money spent on short term international charitable trips would be better used by just giving it directly to the people in need.
The injunctions, ‘kamai ïa ka hok’ which signify right living and practice based on right livelihood, is also a common moral exhortation of all religions not just of the Niam Khasi. But it is evident now more than ever that “Kamai ïa ka Hok” has indeed turned to “Kamai ïa ka Burom” and some people’s “Selfless” charity is actually a “Selfish” act. These kinds of arguments may generate heated internet comments and debates, but they do little to address reality. I truly feel we have lost a sense of morality for its own sake. We should just be generous to be generous. We should do what’s right because it’s right, not because of what you get back.
I am troubled by what I see in this “Ri Tip-Briew Tip-Blei,”as a growing trend of “conspicuous compassion,” where giving has turned into a new “must have” accessory. It brings social cachet to you. I also worry that that’s what kids begin to think; that giving is serving your needs and other peoples’ needs. And they don’t have an image in their head of another kind of giving: a tenacious, low-profile kind of altruism that’s really just about the other person, and not about you. And I think we’re in really deep trouble as a society if that sense of morality for its own sake evaporates.
(The writer is a social worker based in Taltala, Kolkata. She is otherwise a resident of Jaiaw Pdeng, Shillong)