By Robert Clements
Winner or Whiner..!
This happened last year in America, when I was visiting:
Even the kitchen looks unfamiliar in the early hours of the morning and with a scowl on my face I open the top drawer where I’m sure my daughter had said the mugs were kept, but a packet of coffee powder stares back at me, or is it chilly powder? But they don’t keep chilly powder on shelves, do they in America? Let it be, I tell myself, not ready to solve the coffee and chilly powder problem right now, and open the drawer below and nearly have forks and spoons and all the rest of the cutlery fall on my toes. I quickly close the drawer on these murderous weapons and look into the shelves on top.
“Where’s my coffee mug?” I ask myself even more grouchily.
Well, it’s not mine. Nothing is mine here, it’s not my home. My home is ten thousand miles away or somewhere near ten thousand in India, where my green coffee mug hangs neatly in its place, washed and wiped and wedged in its familiar setting with nobody else going to move it from there. Nobody would dare, I tell myself then look again for coffee mug in my daughter’s home in New York, and suddenly the unfamiliar mocks me, “Who asked you to leave home and hearth?” ask the shelves and murderous forks and spoons, “Learn to stay where you belong!”
“Dad, what are you looking for?” asks my daughter, obviously awakened by the purposeful noise of the cutlery, betraying my furtive movements, “Nothing!” I say.
“Are you looking for a mug?”
“A mug?” I ask my scowl growing bigger, “Not, a mug, but my coffee mug, the red one!”
“I think hubby’s using it!” says my daughter, “Take the cup!”
I take the cup, and measure only half of what I normally drink. When did I ever drink coffee in a teacup, I wonder.
“You should have stayed at home!” say all of the kitchen gleefully.
And suddenly I think of Columbus, and Magellan and Drake and all the explorers who left the comforts of home and hearth, searching the next morning, not just for a coffee mug, but for coffee! They left the familiar, and because they did, the world benefitted, they did too, with untold wealth and name, but first they had to leave their coffee mugs.
I look at the teacup as my son-in-law enters, “Dad! Use this, it keeps the coffee warm for hours!”
I take it from him, It’s a mug which is actually a small flask, it’s better than the green mug at home, and as I taste the coffee, I realize that yes indeed the coffee stays hot. I look at the kitchen cutlery, and with a friendly voice tell them, “You got to leave the familiar before you discover something better, and suddenly they grin and nod.
Somewhere at home, I know my green mug frowns at me for taking this bold step into the unfamiliar, but my hot coffee grins back at me!
But even as I sipped from the new cup from where I drank my coffee, and find it even better, I ask myself, “Am I a whiner or a winner?”
Had been to Goa for a businessmen’s convention, where I’d been invited as a speaker. The flight was good, but the plane was delayed by over an hour and I reached the hotel that I was being put up by the hosts, quite late and found there was a mix up in the rooms.
“It’s okay,” I said, “I’ll pay for my room, just see that I get a bed for tonight!”
“Is everything okay?” asked my hosts the next day, before I was going up to speak.
“All fine!” I said, but later explained to them about the mix up. “Why didn’t you tell us immediately? You are our guest?”
“Didn’t want to complain!” I said.
Of course, complaints in themselves are not bad things. I realize that something has to be addressed before it can be fixed, and I believe that there are times when dissatisfaction should be expressed. What’s more, I realize that we all have different temperaments. Some people naturally see the glass half-full, some see it half-empty and some just see that they will probably end up washing it. Some people are naturally more accepting while others complain quickly.
But a tendency to constantly look at what is wrong can become a habit. And habits can take over. I just don’t want to become a person who spends a lot of time just complaining.
I find that if I fill my mind with the little irritants of life, I have no room, or energy, left for anything that nurtures and feeds my spirit. No room for genuine appreciation. No room for understanding. No room for enjoyment. No room for fond memories. No room for storing a list of things that bring pleasure.
I actually believe there is much to feel good about. Like a humorist rightly said, “The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage probably contains better leftovers which thirty percent of the people in this world would love to eat!” I want to leave room in my mind for a long gratitude list that I can readily recall when I need a boost. I want to notice what’s good and right about the world. And I want to fill my heart and head with that which brings some joy so that I may go to bed each evening content. Attitudes are habits. Like television producer Barbara Gordon says, “While others may argue about whether the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I just want to make sure mine doesn’t end with a whine.” I can’t put it any better than that.”
As I drank my coffee that day in America from even a better coffee mug, I felt the mug grinning back at me and whispering, “What kind of person are you Bob, a whiner or a winner?”
The Author conducts an Online Writers and Speakers Course. For more details send a thumbs-up to him on WhatsApp 9892572883.
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