Friday, December 13, 2024
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Bob’s Banter

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By Robert Clements

Busy Fingers..!
“Who’s this?” I asked my friend as I entered his house and saw a disheveled boy sitting in his living room.
“My son!” he replied.
“Hi,” I said and watched as the young fellow stared at me then looked around, ran around the room searching for something like a dog looking for his favourite bone and then sat down waving his arms at his father.
“He’s not well is he?” I asked my friend.
“Withdrawal symptoms,” whispered my friend to me.
“Drugs?” I whispered back.
“No messaging,” said my friend.
“Messaging?” I asked.
“On his phone all the time!” said my friend.
“Ah,” I said looking at my friend’s son, who was staring with haunted eyes at his hands.
“That’s where his phone used to be,” said my friend. “We’ve taken it away from him, so he can get used to life without messaging!”
“Good,” I said looking at my friend’s son, who was suddenly staring at me with the same haunted eyes. Suddenly he lunged at me and started tapping my knees.
“It’s ticklish,” I giggled. “What’s he doing?”
“He’s messaging,” said my friend. “He’s asking whether you have a phone?”
“Yes,” I giggled, “But I am not giving it to you!”
“Just message him!” said my friend.
“Without using the phone?” I asked.
“Type a message on his knee.”
“No,” I said, “I don’t want to do anything of that sort, when I’ve got a voice to speak with!”
My friend’s son withdrew his hand from my knee in a flash, looked at me with disdain and went back to his chair. He reached across and tapped something on his father’s knee.
“What’s he saying?” I asked, slightly curious.
“He’s saying you’re a barbarian.”
“Tell him I know how to talk!” I said angrily.
The boy looked at me with the same disgust and walked out of the room.
“You have upset my son,” said my friend.
“I’m sorry” I said. “Is there something I can do to make up for it?”
“You could learn to message him on his knees,” said my friend.
“Nah,” I said, “I’m not too happy using someone else’s knees to type.”
“Do it for me,” said my friend.
“No!” I said firmly.
What shall I do?” asked my despairing friend.
“Teach him to talk!” I said.
“Talk!” whispered my friend, switching on his TV to watch anchors, raising their voices and outshouting guests on their show, “It is better he messages in silence than starts talking like this!”
We both looked at the TV and agreed to give him back his phone!
Maybe we were too quick in finding a solution, because a little later as I met him, my friend himself, seemed reluctant to speak back to me, and was doing what his son had previously been stopped from doing, “Why aren’t you answering me, what are you doing?” I asked suspiciously.
“I’m messaging you, with my cell phone!” he said, sounding exasperated.
“You don’t have to text me, I’m talking to you!”
“But I’ve got used to texting now!” he texted back and as I heard a loud ping on my cell phone, realized was continuing to message me.
And that’s the state of the world today. As I pass hoardings all over the city, I see a price war taking place between different mobile phone companies. “Chat free!”, says one. “Just chat, just chat, just chat”, say a thousand other boards and banners fixed all across every bus stop and store, all over town, country and the whole world.
“Talk is out, chat is in!”
I know friends of mine working for multinationals and other corporate firms, who sit in little cubicles, with half a wall of plywood between them, typing messages to one another, instead of pushing back their chair and conversing.
You walk into these offices and find their fingers set over their cell phone. You think they are busy at work, till you see a smile, or hear a laugh… and you know a word, a letter, a sentence, not something you said, has brought out a laugh! I know that soon, the laugh from their throat, or smile on their face will be converted into an expression, a smiley, an emoji on their WhatsApp screens.
“Laughter and tears, you have been replaced by symbols!” I shout, but no one hears me.
“It’s the next stage in evolution”, said a doctor to me. “Just as man evolved away from his tail, when he stopped swinging from trees, so will we evolve from using our voice!”
“What about singing? I asked my doctor friend, as he switched on his phone and I listened to some garish sounds coming from it, “That’s the music of today!” he said, “maybe silence is better huh Bob?”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“Words!” he laughed, “Looks like you’ve forgotten how to use your ears huh?” and we both burst into laughter.
“Texting”, said my doctor friend, “is becoming more addictive than talking, and there are less hassles involved”.
“Less hassles?” I asked.
“Yes,” said my friend, “imagine in talking you’ve got to meet physically at a place and be aware of the other person’s body language. No such problems when you chat. You are free!”
“Free?” I asked.
“Yes, free to type something and to mean something else. Chat is a true actor acting a role on stage, your phone screen!”
Chat is an act: No gestures. No voice. Just a performance of words on your phone which is actually meant for speaking!
A silent world with busy fingers drumming away on keyboards is what is seen everywhere!
“Hey,” I told my friend’s son, “Looks like the world is following you!” I watched as the boy looked at my mouth bewildered, then saw my friend also looking at me surprised, and then heard my phone flash with a message from him, “Get real! Teach your fingers to get busy..!”
(The Author conducts an Online Writers and Speakers Course. For more details send a thumbs-up to him on WhatsApp 9892572883).

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