By Jay Desai
One can never generalize and there are always the outliers. But after all, every thing under the sun falls under the Gaussian curve. The NRIs that fall within 2 standard deviations are an interesting lot, a unique but homogeneous species.
The first decade for the fresh off the boat (FOB) NRI starts with exploration of the new world while experiencing a constant and painful longing of the society and the family back home. The world is flat in the 21st century but that still does not change the harsh reality that the food in the new land tastes different and the culture is alien. The FOB sets out for a quest to learn the ways of the new land during the work week while going back to the roots on the weekend by attending the circus of desi parties, arranged usually on a rotating basis. On the weekend party circuit, the FOB meets three kinds of NRIs.
First group is made up of the contemporaries, out of India for less than a decade. After a few uncomfortable years like a deer in the headlight, the FOB acclimatizes and feels a bit more secure. But back of the mind, is still convinced of returning home in a few years once a comfortable kitty is secured.
The second group on the circuit are those ‘seasoned’, out of their homelands for 1-2 decades. They have been around for a while and have imbibed from the micro environment of the desis. They are way beyond the dilemma of whether to move back to India. They have learnt to join the chorus in support of the adopted land and condemnation of the lost one. Their image of the latter is stuck in the year they left and it gets updated only by the newspapers and the TV channels run by fellow FOBs. The infrequent trips to ‘homeland’ gives them an opportunity to find newer problems that have creeped up since they left. With every trip, the contempt for the ‘homeland’ goes up many folds. This occurs simultaneously with suppressed jealousy and comparisons with the lives of their contemporaries who stayed back. Life for them now mainly rotates around whipping the next generation into action, to fulfill their own desire of super parenting.
Finally, there is the last group on the desi NRI circuit, of those who have been around for more than 2-3 decades. Their next generation has moved on, leaving them all alone. They have only one recourse, that of turning to religion and their roots. These folks are responsible for influencing the microcosms of the desi communities overseas. They are active in cults like the Svadhyays and Pariwars that shape the mindset of the next generation. Usually, these senior ambassadors of the NRI communities have imbibed values from their isolated existence to become extremely conservative and often right wing fanatics.
The NRIs are a powerful lot. After all, they manage to cross seven seas and survive in a foreign land. Unfortunately, the FOB NRIs remain fresh off the boat till death; never adjusting quite well in the adopted land, not culturally, not philosophically, not socially. A majority of NRIs incorporate a very narrow outlook to their lives with very little to show at the end, other than making a good living.
Indians have been immigrating for ever. But, the scenario mentioned above shows little evolution. For NRIs to become a respectable force in the coming years, they need to break the triphasic cycle of the desi party circuit.
(Jay Desai is an NRI in the ‘second decade’. He strives to be an outlier)