By Fabian Lyngdoh
According to the Khasi thought, the kur (clan) is a basic and full-fledged member of society, a basic political unit, an independent economy, and an independent religious cult. The term ‘kur’ signifies only the social and material reality of the clan, while the term ‘longkur-mankur’ signifies the social as well as the spiritual reality of the clan. Ordinarily, the concept ‘kur’ comprises of the living members of the clan, and particularly emphasizes its social organization. But the concept ‘longkur-mankur’ includes the living members and the souls of the departed members in communion at ka duwan (altar) of the clan religion. The departed souls or the invisible members are believed to exist in the world of the spirits (Sungi). As a religious cult, the Kur was called ‘ka Longkur’ and it is considered spiritually complete and independent because it has direct connection with God without any religious intervention from the tribe. The visible members without the invisible members do not constitute a full-fledged Kur. The invisible members without the visible members become ‘Ka Kur Iapduh’ (extinct clan). The visible members in communion with the invisible, constitute a complete kur recognized by the society at large and by every being in the cosmos. Pieces of bones of departed members were reverently kept in earthen pots and deposited under the cover of a religious stone cairn called ‘Ka Mawbah’. Ka Mawbah is considered as the terrestrial realm of the invisible kur; and ka iing-khat-duh (natal house of the clan) is the temple with the altar where the visible and the invisible members of the long-kur meet in religious communion. The Mawbah of each kur has a personal name and it is the name of the Iawbei (first ancestress of the clan) whose relics of bones have been first entered into when the Mawbah was instituted. Her name, along with the names of u Suidnia (first uncle) and later ancestors and ancestress were called upon to intercede in religious rites. These names are recognized by the living and the dead, by God almighty and recognized also by the devil. In spite of living in the world of the spirits, the departed members were believed to actively participate and sometimes intervene or interfere in the affairs of the living visible kur. There should be communications between the visible and invisible aspects of the kur in all social interactions because the invisible kur is considered to be the joint member of all ancestral properties and of all honour and dignity of the kur. This act of communication is done through the religious authority conferred on the eldest uncle (kni rangbah) of the kur.
The Kur is strictly exogamous, hence sexual relationship between members of the same Kur is an unpardonable taboo and a sacrilege that can never be condoned. Persons guilty of this sacrilege are socially ostracised by the community, cut off from the kur economy, and excommunicated from the kur religion as there is no religious rite or ceremony that can be performed to free them from the stain of this taboo called “ka sang-iap ka sang-im”. To belong to the same kur in Khasi concept, means to be in the same religious cult. There can be no marriage or sexual relations between members of the same cult, and to be in the same religious cult means to be under the spiritual protection of the same Iawbei. In other religions, marriage is preferred between members of the same religious cult. Disparity of cults is discouraged in Christian marriage (Canon 1086), while in the Khasi society, disparity of cults is a precondition required in marriage. Relationship among the members of ka long-kur (visible and invisible) was considered consanguineous, pure and holy in the same meaning as Jesus said to the Sadducees, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matt.22:30).
In the past, marriage between people tracing descent from the same ancestress (Iawbei) was prohibited because the spirit of ka Iawbei was taken as the chief intercessor between members of the kur and God. All the female members of the Kur were considered to represent and partake in the image of ka Iawbei because they each carry in their person the womb which is the divine mystery of conception and birth. Physically and socially, the womb belongs to each individual woman in the Kur, but spiritually, that womb was thought to belong ultimately to ka Iawbei. That is why the elders sanctified every conceiving womb of every female member of the kur as, “ka Jar Ksiar-Iawbei” (the golden receptacle of the ancestress). Therefore, a Khasi thought it sacrilegious to engage in sexual relationship with a woman who carries in her person the golden womb of his own ancestress. In the past under the kur religion, the bones of all the departed members of a kur living within one political community had to be deposited inside the same Mawbah where the bones of ka Iawbei were deposited. The bones of those who committed incest cannot be entered there, and hence the souls of those who guilty of incest cannot enter into the heavenly abode of ka Iawbei where the souls exist like angels. Even the bones of a father cannot be deposited in the religious stone cairn of his children’s clan. It was on this basis that marriage between members of the same kur was strictly prohibited for all times to come. The seriousness of clan endogamy in Khasi society can be traced to the religious sanctity of “Ka Iawbei” and all her representatives, who are the female members of the kur, and to the belief in the religious necessity of every clan member, male and female to pass through ka niam-iap (funeral rites) to enter heaven after death.
Incest is understood as an offence of sexual relationship between people prohibited from marrying because of closeness in their blood relationship. In reality, blood relationship is established both from the father’s side and the mother’s side. But among the Khasis, blood relationship is believed to be established only from the mother’s side. Even a father is believed to have no blood relationship with his own children. A man or woman is believed to have closer blood relationship with a clan member of more than four generations apart than with the father. Hence the expression, “ka ksuid kam lah ban kylla snam” (pus cannot become blood). But blood can become pus when a man engages in sexual relationship with a woman of his own clan even if they are a hundred generations apart. A woman’s reproductive cycle is linked to blood in menses and childbirths, while a man’s biological link with the children is through pus-like semen which is believed cannot become blood. Marriage of a woman with her father’s sister’s son is discouraged but not strictly prohibited because it is believed that they have no blood relationship. But this belief is scientifically false. A child is closely related by blood to the close relatives of his father and his mother as well.
This cultic and religious character of every kur together with the taboo was a social requirement of the past. It must have been perfectly relevant to the social cohesion and order of the Khasi society. Sociologists say that extended incest taboo established interdependence between families, sibs and clans, and thus play an important part in the integration of primitive societies. Today the character of the kur as an independent economy has become extinct, its character as an independent and full-fledged religion has also become extinct, and the spirit of ka Iawbei as the ultimate intercessor between the clan members and God has been forgotten. The kur today seems to spread loosely without any system of actual relationships except bearing a common name.
So, propagating the incest taboo perpetually seems to have become irrelevant. However, though the extended taboo of clan endogamy over generations and generations has little relevance today, nevertheless as it has been strongly decreed as the most profane act that can be committed against the Kur religion, and as the incest taboo is one of the strongest mores in any society, this kind of suggestion might send shock waves through all strata of the tribe, and I apologise for that. Cultural sentiments prevail not so much because they are sanctified or holy, but because they live much longer than their actual validity.