By Robert Clements
Some Turning Points..!
There are many of us who remember a turning point in our lives.
It could have been a sentence in a book we read, or a speech we heard, or advice given by an elder or teacher in school. Very often, that turning point, or that life changing shot of confidence could have been, in doing something we were afraid to do, or thought we were incapable of doing.
In my recent interactions with two schools, one in Goa and the other in Mumbai, I stress the fact, that a performance by a student should not be a false charade on stage, but an opportunity, where a child is given a chance to perform, watches amazed as an audience applauds and goes home feeling himself or herself an achiever.
This can only be done when parents and teachers work hard with those children to help them achieve what in their mind, they think is impossible. In the conquering of the impossible, in the climbing of the child’s Everest, that boy or girl will continue climbing other peaks and be a success in life. Today, as I’ve been hearing nearly every week, of sons of politicians, driving their dad’s posh cars at incredible speeds and crashing into innocent men and women, some who are going for a walk, others on their two wheelers and some in their own little cars, I realise that that son was never allowed to become an achiever the hard way. From day one, his rich or influential father or mother showcased his ‘spoilt’ behaviour as a sign of their success.
It was like dressing him up in the costliest of costumes, getting an amazing choreographer to work on dance and music, and showcasing the talentless fellow on stage.It didn’t increase his confidence, no, it just showcased the parent’s wealth. That boy or girl will continue being a menace to society because he has never really become confident in any skills or talents he or she has got, but will always rely on his dad’s car, the family wealth or mother’s pampering. One day, when he is bereft of the piped music and dance, when the band stops playing, the car and the money gone, his world will come crashing down, but not before he or she has brought down the worlds of many other innocent bystanders.
Teach your children well. Don’t let them just be your showpieces on a world stage, but let them through struggle and difficulty perform. And when they do so, that will be the turning point of your child. Let the bare, frightening stage beckon. Watch the shy child walk onto it, and then suddenly see himself or herself doing the impossible, then watch your child from that day on, not crashing cars into others, but breaking the glass ceiling and achieving!
Give your children the opportunity of a ‘turning point’!
Apart from giving your children an opportunity to develop confidence, what is your role as a parent? I remember, a few years ago a school down the road asked me if I would address parents on how to bring up children!
For a moment I asked myself as to how I’d been selected for the job, and wondered whether it had anything to do with bringing up two daughters, who I have little doubt would have laughed if they’d known their dad thought he’d become proficient in a subject they still consider me a novice in!
But it made me do a lot of thinking and something I realized at the end of gathering material for the talk was that unlike any other job on earth parenting is something which we are thrown into as fathers and mothers with no knowledge of what we are supposed to do.
Scary isn’t it?
Very often I’ve heard people talk about their terrible childhood and when I talk to their parents, I’m told how those same parents invested time and money, love and affection to bring up their children.
So, what went wrong?
A small survey was done on children in which they listed ten qualities they wanted in parents. These young people, from 24 countries, agreed on these traits they believed were important for all parents to possess.
Here they are:
1. They want harmony. They do not want their parents to have unresolved and destructive conflict in front of them.
2. They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as other children in the family.
3. They want honesty. And to be told the truth.
4. They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both parents.
5. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their friends to be welcomed in the home.
6. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents.
7. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their questions.
8. They want consideration from their parents. They do not want to be embarrassed or punished in front of friends.
9. They want positive support. They wish for their parents to concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses.
10. They want consistency. They desire parents to be constant in their affections and moods.
It appears that these children want what all of us want – respect, consideration and love. In fact, these work well with “children” of all ages.
Let’s give these ten points a go, shall we, and also see to it that we help them face their ‘turning points’ in life..!
The Author conducts a Writers and Speakers Course for schools, colleges and corporates. For more details call him on 9892572883 or send a message to [email protected]