Sunday, October 20, 2024
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In the Shadows

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By Mark Laitphlang Stone

We called him “Dasu”.

Br. Eric Steve D’Souza’s memories are awash in floral tributes, conversations and tears. Hundreds laid to rest their teacher, friend and brother. Like a sacred Mafia oath, we knew what it meant to have the Godfather challenge us and hold us to our promises. We just had to get it done. No two ways about it.

When news of his passing broke, a deep sense of relief and love embraced those of us who knew what he had been compelled to accept and cope with. Brother’s rapid decline over his final years in Regina Mundi, Goa left him unable to move or speak, as Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP), took its toll. He was a shadow of the man we once knew and although he loved operating from corners unseen as he orchestrated his masterpieces on stage and in the classroom, this particular corner of his life was where we lost him to his silence.

Br. D’Souza turned 74 in September and passed away on October 13 , 2024. There is so much to be said of his 58 years in the Christian Brothers family and his years devoted to his other great calling as an educator in St. Edmund’s School, Shillong and earlier in St. Columba’s, New Delhi and St. Joseph’s Junior College, Bajpe. Yet, we know words would never sufficiently convey the depth of his impact.

When the day was done and the wreaths and messages were lovingly laid over his final resting place at the Catholic Church’s Cemetery in Laitumkhrah, Shillong, the brilliance of the candle-lit carpet of orchids, roses, geraniums and gerberas was overwhelming. Never before had such a poignant gathering woven a memory so moving into the fabric of our lives. Over the many funerals and burials life has offered us, this was by far one of the greatest demonstrations of adoration and respect a teacher has earned in our home in the hills.

Dasu was home. 

During an intimate evening that stretched into early morning and then flowed into the day of the funeral, voices from as early as 1974 and as recent as 2017, shared their personal stories. Meghalaya Chief Minister, Conrad Sangma, was amongst the many who paid their last respects to their “guiding light”.

Brother’s own sister, Nisha – the youngest of eight siblings, flew in from Tokyo for the service. Her fond recollection of how Eric was the family’s favourite uncle offered us a rare glimpse into his personal life at home. “He was such a wonderful elder brother, our voice of reason and the coolest uncle to his 10 nieces and nephews. Uncle Eric, the legend, is what they call him.” “As a son, he had a deep regard and respect for his father and a loving bond and closeness to his mother.” Their father, Gen E D’Souza, was a Major General in the Indian Army. “Eric was born in Bombay and delivered by his own grandmother who was a gynaecologist. Very few know that he spent his toddler years in London where his father was posted as a military attaché.”

Across four decades and thousands of lives – cutting across the seventies and to the turn of the millennium and then some, Br. D’Souza’s influence on each of us – his students, was what adventure tourism enthusiast, author and award-winning rafter, Zorba Laloo calls, “Pivotal”. Zorba, like many others taught by Dasu, chose roads less travelled.

The perspective that took centre stage, however, was the moving eulogy shared by Dr. Vijay Nongpiur, Br. D’Souza’s student of 1997 and his personal physician towards 2018. “Sir would always remind me to constantly ask myself, Why I chose to be a doctor.” Vijay quit the lure of private practice a few years ago to serve the greater good.

This was Brother’s rare gift. Acknowledgement. He saw the person we refused to acknowledge within us. He saw our potential and our weaknesses and challenged us to be all that we could be. On the field, he took discipline and the unerring path of a warrior athlete to teach us to never look back. On the stage, he took the quiet voices around us and showed them their bravest truths, breaking moulds and conquering years of self-doubt in 90 minutes of drama, chaos and joy enshrined in a musical script that could only have emerged from a mind as brilliant and bold as his.

His “extra classes” in our last year in school were the stuff of legend. He had very strict rules for attendance and we were to be in at 7 am sharp for his sessions in Maths and Science – 90 minutes before regular hours actually began for Class 10. And he did this for multiple ICSE schools throughout the year- not just his own at St. Edmund’s. His ability to condense complex Mathematical formulae, Physics concepts, History lessons, English Language and Geography into everyday language and daily habits saved us from mediocrity and academic obscurity and should be documented for posterity. He could teach you anything under the Sun with a simplicity that piqued our curiosity and made us diligent disciples of process and practise. His presence in our lives was a guarantee of success at the board examinations and we earned our high school certificates off the back of his unconventional approach and astounding ability to communicate with wit, wisdom and wonder.

What isn’t often spoken about is the fact that Brother was a pioneer. He literally wrote the book on computing for school students when India’s information technology era was just beginning to emerge in the 1980s. ‘Chipping In’ was the gold standard textbook for computer science in high schools across the country and in an era without access to the internet, search engines or online archives, this book’s extensive modules and creative illustrations on foundational IT were ahead of their time. Let it never be forgotten that a student of History, authored this repository of computing knowledge.

Over all the years of his teaching, his eclectic collection of classroom music, inexhaustible energy and inimitable humour continued to be the hallmark of his sessions. He had a special name for each of us and an uncanny ability to connect “love lives” across campuses. Sometimes, he’d predict a mysterious connection, and ridiculous as this might sound today, by the end of the term, the prophecy was realised! His personal network brought him information and rumours to torment us within our classrooms, and it left us in splits to see the victims of his chiding, squirming away, until the victims were us. Our year with Dasu was our year with the best in ourselves and the worst of ourselves and we came out stronger because of it.

On the night of October 15, an Indigo Airlines flight ensured that our precious cargo was handed over at Guwahati airport for the journey by road to its eventual destination. Over 30 vehicles led by a Cabinet Minister of the Meghalaya Government made their ascent through the hills and arrived at the Chapel of St Edmund’s School to a truly emotional late-night reception. Of the many gathered, the anguish and immense sense of personal loss of the founding team, teachers and students of Providence was deeply touching. Providence was the school founded by Br. D’Souza for underprivileged children in Shillong. He was being received by grieving members of this family and the loss was immutable.

Khraw Nongbri, a student of Providence shared this touching tribute in Khasi for Brother, “Ngi ju iohsngew ia ki angel ha bneng, tangba nga iohi ia u angel ha pyrthei, U Brother”.  (I’ve heard of angels in heaven but I witnessed an Angel on earth, Brother Dasu)

Dasu chose to be buried in Shillong and to have Sinatra’s testament to a life well lived sung at his funeral service. This was breaking with tradition, but Brother knew how he wanted to go. “He did it, his way.” Amongst the lives and loves of the souls he touched, and the hills and falling leaves on a cold and desolate autumn day, our teacher, our brother and our friend was laid to rest. Unfettered by the whims of time and devoted to the presence of the Future. Always in the Shadows, and always in our hearts.

Rest in peace, Sir.

We are because you were.

~

Mark Laitflang Stone, Executive Member,

St. Edmund’s Past Pupils’ Association (SEPPA), Shillong

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