By Mohsin Maqbool Elahi
YOU are fast asleep when during the dead of night you are awakened by a loud din. Somebody has turned on the TV and it sounds like there’s pandemonium in the parliament as those in power and the members of the opposition are having a fight. You rush to the lounge but to your amazement there is nobody there and the TV is switched off.
It is then you realize that there are some stray dogs engaged in a deadly fight on the street outside your house. You go back to bed cursing the dogs while putting a pillow on your head to cover your ears.
Sometimes you are walking home late at night when suddenly a couple of menacing mongrels block your path. Luckily a couple of stones are lying around; you quickly pick them up and pretend to throw them at the dogs. They immediately get out of your way. You increase both your pace as well as your stride and hurry towards home. However, if the dogs start chasing you, you run for your life as there is nothing else you can do. But, if God forbid, they catch up with you, then your next stop is the hospital.
The pye dogs seem to vanish during the day. You wonder where they are. And then you find one sleeping under the shade of a truck. Yet another is found lazing in the neighbour’s front yard. The coziness and warmth of the verdant grass turns out to be a good bed for them.
Then there are days when you find an idle dog dozing in the middle of the street with its head tucked safely between its front paws. You move on thinking it best to let sleeping dogs lie. However, if you are in a car you blare your horn. It first raises its head to see who it is that has dared to disturb its sleep, and then on realizing that it is a menacing machine, it quickly scampers out of your way.
You hardly ever come across any dogs that are all skins and bones however hungry they might happen to be. But you do come across one from time to time that is limping as it has been hit by a speeding vehicle. Sometimes you come face to face with one that is bleeding all over its face as some street urchin has aimed a sharp stone at its head.
There must have been at least once when you must have stepped on a dog’s faeces by mistake. If you are wearing a shoe consider yourself lucky. But if you are wearing sandals or slippers you have had it. The gooey stuff sticks on your sandals and your foot. A sickly sense permeates you. You rush towards the closest tap, wherever it may happen to be, and try to wash it off while grimacing all the time. You have a hard time cleaning your sandals as well.
Then there may have been occasions when while you are walking on the street you suddenly come across a pair which are joined together back to back, resembling the llama-like character from the circus of Dr Dolittle. (Remember the bizarre creature from the film starring Rex Harrison in the title role?) And the dogs, indeed, face a tough time separating themselves. You witness snickering faces all around you and the public can’t help commenting on the incident. If a moralist happens to be standing there, he hurls abuses as well as stones at the dogs which quickly disengage themselves and disappear into some nearby lane.
How many times have you witnessed mongrels fighting over a piece of bone? I am positive there must have been several. Often you see them rummaging over a pile of garbage for something that they can chew. But while doing so, they spread the garbage all over the street. People walking about and the blowing winds spread it further. You can’t stand the stench of garbage but are left wondering how the stray dogs dig their noses deep into the garbage sniffing it all over. And then digging leftovers from it and relishing it. It is well past midnight and you are traveling in a car with your family. As soon as you turn the corner, a pack of menacing-looking dogs start racing with your car while barking all the time. You accelerate the speed of your car and the dogs follow suit. You accelerate the speed further finally losing track of the dogs. You heave a sigh of relief. Whether you are traveling on foot or tucked safely inside a car, dogs somehow seem to scare you like you had just seen a ghost.
And you are bound to remember those occasions when dogs get extremely excited. One of these happens to be whenever a man with a monkey happens to walk past by some dogs. The latter immediately leave whatever they might happen to be doing and start barking and running after the monkey. The man has a tough time keeping the dogs at a safe distance from his monkey.
The best part is when you find a bitch as the centre of contention between two or more dogs. All hell breaks loose in the vicinity. They start by growling to scare off their rival. Then they start barking, then howling; finally they start fighting like gladiators in a Roman arena until one calls it a day or retires seriously injured. The winner gets his prize and a litter of puppies in the not-too-distant future.
As for myself I have had so many encounters with dogs it is a wonder I am still alive. All I want to do now is take my boom box to the nearest municipality office and play “Who let the dogs out?” at full volume.
(The writer is a senior journalist with Dawn newspaper, Karachi)