By Nawaz Islam
The ‘good looking’ epidemic Fashion and satire have never been easy partners. The problem is that although fashion seems like a world ripe for mockery, it’s very absurdity – the extremity of appearance, values and language that makes outsiders think it should be a perfect subject of satire – actually makes it impossible.
Thankfully, the off beats in Shillong have left some scope for pointing the finger and having a laugh at their meaningful ‘sense’ of dressing and confident outrageousness!
The generation Y of this state have made a mark in a manner that can be credited as being genuine. They have become so self-referential; their ideas of beauty are twisted into the ridiculous: blue and pink hair, with equally impractical footwear and dress.
Think Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj, with shoes by Alexander McQueen and dresses along the lines of Viktor & Rolf’s surrealist confections of chainsaw-sculpted tulle. Think Lady Gaga. You’ll get the idea.
What is more interesting is the contagious nature of fashion in the state. Every individual possessing a personal brain has been shown to be governed by a few in democracies and fashion here is no different. Similarity in dressing can reach a point of making you dizzy!
As to why no one has really picked up on this parallel all I can think is it has to do with the same reason Andy Warhol wore silver wigs: he said people were so distracted by the colour that they didn’t focus on the wig itself. In this case, everyone is so focused on the other one’s attire that they fail to make their own statement or dress differently and simply follow the leader in the crowd.
If things are not clear still, just take a look around. The onset of winter heralds the dawn of a collection of woollen arsenal that is so similar that every individual looks like a part of a greater family of a billion twins.
Reasons may be as simple as ‘no option’! One glance will reveal boots which appear to be so similar that you wouldn’t know if they have been exchanged. Enter the glorious ‘Glory’s Plaza’ and you can see it for yourself that every shop has the same thing for the same price and the same reductions after a heavy bargain. Big bulky shoes that have never been bought together the regular ones that sells like pastries!
When you don’t quite have options then what do you do? During summers, every female happens to cover their feet in sandals or pointed shoes that differ in shape by only a button or a strap missing/added and looks all the same otherwise. Now in winter you have boots…Darn! It’s all the same.
The long, the short, the fat, the thin…all booted and suited the same. Be it the muscular masculine gender or the famed feminine gender, a single line can be drawn with respect to style. It just takes one to start and the rest follow like a mouse hallucinated by cheese!
For the ones not following the trend, it is all the more unbearably absurd look that is offered. After the buttock exposing low waist jeans and the faded ‘new’ clothes, it’s the era of skin tight trousers for boys with statement shirts, shoes without laces and of course the bold hair look…mostly the non-footballers again!
Till we have some realists coming with a statement other than absurd, we can sit back and reflect on the failed shots hovering in every neighbourhood. The top 7 fashion disasters we secretly laugh at are:
7. OPEN SHOELACES: Now I don’t want to ponder on the economic viability but it seems the fad is to get a tight shoe which is undoubtedly cheaper considering the size and leave the laces open. Trust me, it’s not cool…it’s sadly poor!
6. POLLUTION MASKS: On the one hand we have the Chinese on bicycles and tai-chi in the parks but for all their efforts to lead a healthy lifestyle, a recent World Bank research report revealed that China claims 16 of the world’s most polluted cities. On the other hand we have our punks making it a disastrous fashion statement. Black masks, spiked hair and the fake band-aid in the neck…give me a break!
5. BAGGY JEANS: This trend started in the early 90?s, and sadly is still around today. Thankfully, it has progressed whereas the pants don’t hang quite as low as they used to. I remember when this was going strong, and I always wondered why it was popular. Your pants would be continually falling down (or someone was yanking them down). Also, it looked like you had just taken a big dump in your jeans. How is that supposed to be cool?
4. POPPED COLLARS: This started two – three years back with the metro sexual look hitting the era but sadly a stage has reached with every other guy ‘popping’ his collar. The skinny and droopy ones are more into it. Next time I suppose pockets are going come inside out added to this!
3. FUZZY BOOTS: The girls who wore them, loved them, and the girls who didn’t, despised them (but probably secretly wanted a pair). Another one of the ridiculous trends women have had over the past few years. They made women look like some sort of abominable snowman. For some reason, women seemed to often wear them with skirts, which only increased the awfulness of them. People consider them ugly, and the fact they are actually called “Uggs” says it all. It just takes one to start and the rest follow.
2. BIG HIGH WAIST BELTS: The latest in the long line of really stupid trends, is the big waist belt. What is this thing? It is almost impossible for the big waist belt to look good. At best, it looks ridiculous. At worst… well… it compares to this. Often, but not always, it’s overweight girls wearing them in some sort of effort to make their waist appear smaller. Needless to say, the horrid belt just brings attention to that large mid-section.
1. THE EMO LOOK: I may get some negative comments about this choice, as this fad is currently at it’s peak. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing more ridiculous than the recent ’emo’ look. It’s not just one particular style, it’s the complete package. From the ridiculously styled hair, to the make-up, to the guys that weigh 40 kgs, to the skin-tight jeans that seems to reduce blood circulation, to the incredibly ugly chequered shoes. The entire style is mind blowing. It seems it’s more the “outcasts” trying to be unique that take up this look. It’s the new ‘goth’. However, instead of looking unique, they all look like clones of one another.
Laughing on the inside can no longer be an option when you are provoked to blurt it out the moment you step out of your house. A fact that is ignored when buying a dress is often the body structure that will eventually adorn it.
Don’t make the opportunity to reflect your being as the biggest enemy of personal greatness in your efforts to come out of the swamp and join the race!