By Abha Anindita and Emihun-I Pakma
SHILLONG, Aug 3: When Jane Austen’s famous quote, “Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love,” from Northanger Abbey gained popularity, especially in the world of captions, many began to reflect on who the soothing balms in their own lives are. The hardships of love, the betrayals we often encounter, and the sorrows of life can make us overlook the good things in our lives. We often forget the people who were there in every small and big moment. The circle that surrounds us is one of the most important things in life and something to be celebrated and appreciated every day.
As the world celebrates Friendship Day today, here is an ode to real-world connections that exist beyond the internet, that were not orchestrated by corporate offices or by going to clubs, but ones that were found organically, the ones that know no age. Let us take this opportunity to appreciate and uplift the true essence of friendship between women in our everyday lives.
When we talk about friendship, “female friendship” is often unfairly labeled as toxic and fake. Women are frequently pitted against each other, put into competition, and compared negatively. However, in reality, female friendships can be one of the purest and most enriching experiences a woman can have. From sharing every little detail to feeling more comfortable and relatable, female friendships deserve to be celebrated.
Women supporting women has been depicted in several movies and series where there is just love and well-wishing, with no hope for anything else. But what is friendship beyond the four walls of on-screen depiction, beyond every Instagram post, behind the laughter at cafés, and dressing up for girly dates? What is friendship in everyday life, and how do these bonds thrive for women in their everyday lives?
The bonds of roasted corn and fresh vegetables, right in the main Laitumkhrah market where an 80-year-old woman named Constant Lyngdoh and her half-aged friend, Hilena Sohtun, shared laughter over something silly. Curiosity got the best of us, and upon questioning, we discovered that they have been best friends for the longest time. They spend all day together, sitting and giggling while also making pennies to support their families.
Lyngdoh answering if age mattered in friendship answered in negative and said, “She understands me, and I understand her. What more does one need?”
Similarly, another shy married shopkeeper who sold groceries, when asked what friendship means to her, immediately blushed and said, “My husband. He has been my friend for the longest time. I share everything with him, and we laugh together. Friendship, for me, means somebody I can be myself with.”
Almost echoing the thoughts of Brontë, “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same,” she could not stop blushing as she continued. She also mentioned that she has several friends from her village who sometimes visit her shop to buy things since she cannot make time to meet them outside.
The feeling of woman-to-woman friendship is simpler, as one gets to know one’s gender better, but it has always been overpowered by the notions that society intends to portray — like jealousy and complexity, which are often notions set by patriarchy.
Risalin Surong from Nongrah mentioned that her work keeps her busy, but her friends still make time for her by visiting her shop at the Market. Since they all have busy schedules, there is not much time to meet one another, but sometimes her friends visit her, and they also keep in contact through phone calls.
As we walked through the lanes of this market, it became clear that the notion of female friendship, often dismissed as superficial or competitive, is deeply misunderstood. The women here, who fix each other’s hair or giggle at this reporter’s questions, reveal a different story — one of solidarity, understanding, and the simple joy of being together.
In the words of Gloria Steinem, “Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke… she will need her sisterhood.”
Indeed, it is in these sisterhoods — whether they are formed over roasted corn in a bustling market or in the quiet corners of our lives — that women find the strength to nourish one another, to restore one another, and to thrive together.