By Patricia Mukhim

Those who believe that being a woman in a matrilineal society makes one safer are delusional. As in all societies, rape is usually committed by a member of the family or a known person. The Delhi incident is a rare case where strangers ganged up to rape a distressed soul and finally killed her. That being the case, women here have less to fear from strangers and more from those known to them. Matriliny in Meghalaya is one of the most hyped but least understood social systems. What is it about matriliny that is empowering for women? Let’s try and name them. First, it is said that ancestral property passes through the youngest daughter and therefore she inherits property which is not the case in patriarchal societies. But we are making a virtue out of a handicap here. This thing about inheritance of property is a generalisation that does no one, least of all the woman, any good. Is inheritance of property and responsibilities both, an empowering facet for women in matriliny? This is a good question but one that’s not analysed in detail lest the bluff of patriarchs who repeatedly spout that women have the best of both words, is exposed.

There was a time when property meant a home to live in and some jewellery (gold mostly). While mothers would allocate the jewellery to their daughters, with the biggest share going to the youngest daughter (khatduh), the home would automatically go to the khatduh. There is a catch here though. The khatduh holds the ancestral property as a custodian but is not supposed to sell it. If she wishes to sell she would require the permission of her siblings and her maternal uncle/s. And in those days of yore when tradition was still in churning, there was no Khasi who was extremely rich and owned more than one homestead. Every family had a home to live on. When a daughter marries (not the khatduh) she and her husband move out into a new home built on land given by the community (Raij). The couple and their children owned the land as long as they lived and cultivated on it. Ownership of land is a fairly new concept. In any case land was not a commodity, just a space to have a homestead on and grow food. It did not have the value it has today. No one amassed so much wealth as to stand out in society. The Khasis believed in egalitarianism so strongly that they even invented the “Thlen ” to castigate and cut down to size anyone who became too rich. The Thlen it is believed is a python that is reared on human blood and can make its keepers very wealthy. The Khasis believed and some still do today, that every year the python keepers have to abduct some living person and drain the blood out of him/her to feed the Thlen lest it shames them. What a novel way to put a moratorium on human greed. But that succeeded up to a point.

Christianity appeared from across the seas to shine the light on our hidden flaws. Christianity told us that some of our practices were not ‘godly.’ No one has asked for a definition of what is godly and what isn’t. Many of us lapped up this new faith unquestioningly. For how could poor, unintelligent tribals who have just come down the trees and did not have the gift of the gab or the power of language, engage the white man in a debate? People like Jeebon Roy, Sib Charan Roy and other enlightened souls did have dialogues and diatribes with the white man. But the Khasis are not known to be aggressive. The educated Khasis left the rest of us to our elements and the white man took it as a burden to civilise us through prosyletisation. For instance, the Khasis had a healthy practice of cohabitation and when two people lived together and produced children society called them husband and wife. Agreed it was a loose arrangement but there was a dignity about it. When a man or woman wanted to walk out of the arrangement, all they had to do was to inform their relatives and throw a copper coin at each other as a final gesture of goodbye. If the man chose to he would pay for the maintenance of his children. If not the woman had enough resources with which to bring up her children. After all, they belong to her clan (kur) and hearth (thymmei). And a Khasi woman had pride enough not to ask for money from a man who has deserted her. Perhaps in those days if there was a roof over the head, enough to eat and clothes to wear, other things did not matter much. Christianity taught us about the sanctity of marriage and of one-partner relationships. Any transgression was called sin. Adultery carried more weight than the word “Klim” in Khasi which actually means having an affair with another man or woman other than the wife or husband. But if a man were to Klim it was not considered sinful by Khasi philosophy. It became a problem only if his wife was pregnant. They say she would not be able to have a smooth delivery unless he confessed to that affair. Hence when a women struggles in labour pain, her family members would ask her to question her man lest he had strayed. I have heard from my ancestresses that there were several instances when the woman who was struggling in labour for hours would suddenly deliver her child (like a hen lays an egg, they would say) as soon as her husband blurted out his peccadillo. That’s called implicit faith, isn’t it?

Stalking a woman was not uncommon. If a man liked a woman he would follow her until he found her alone and then he would talk to her. If she responded it meant she liked him. If not it was a rebuff. A man with enough pride would give up, but some are persistent and have to be told rudely to back off. I have heard of women hitting licentious men (shait kynshlein) with their chappals or shoes. I don’t know if women in other societies would have the gumption to do that. I have heard tales galore from my morther and grandmother but not once did I hear them speak of a child being raped. They would have done it if it was part of the milieu then. If child rape was common it would have featured as part of our folklore and legend. Stepfathers though have been notorious villains, although some have been really good fathers to their step-children. But they are the exceptions.

Judging by the number of child rape cases where the perpetrator is the step-father one can say that they act true to the stereotype. The legend of Noh-ka-Likai where the stepfather who apparently stays at home while his wife worked, one day cut up his step-child to pieces and cooked those pieces. He then fed the wife when she came home hungry in the evening. When she found the baby’s little fingers in the betel nut basket (shang kwai) she suspected the worst and when the man confessed what he had done she went and threw herself down a precipice which later turned into a waterfall. That is Noh-Ka-Likai (the place where Likai jumped to her death.

Going by our folklore therefore, Khasi society had its scars. But the rape of children aged three, four or five was unheard of. As teenagers, we were told stories of delinquent men who raped women and abandoned them in the forest. I have also heard of elders of society bringing about rapprochement between the raped and the rapist if they happen to know both and if the raped woman complained. That was because they did not know better. We were not aware that rape is a heinous crime. Rape was usually termed as a misdemeanour (ka jingbatbor) or forced sex. The reason why the grievous nature of rape was not understood is because we were a gender insensitive society. Those men who sat in judgement over rape cases have no clue about the extent of a crime worse than death for a woman. It could also be because of the silence around sex and sexuality in Khasi society. A woman who is raped would probably not even be allowed to describe the painful details as they do today while filing an FIR before the police. To talk about the act of rape would have been termed “ka kam khlemrain” (a shameful deed) and the matter would end with a compromise because the elders in the Dorbar only knew that much and no more.

Today we are in the 21st century. It’s true that we have jumped our own pace of civilisation and therefore have a problem processing our thoughts and actions. Today the number of gadgets over which sex is freely purveyed is phenomenal. Neither families or societies or the Dorbar have control over their members. It’s easy to blame the factors of decadence such as drugs, alcohol or pornography. But what about the upbringing? What about responsible parenthood? Can a girl of 15 or 16 years who cohabited with one man and then by the fifth year ended with another man or a series of men before she is abandoned, ever be a good parent to her sons? Should society not take on part of this burden? After all we are still a community, not a stand alone, group of individuals. The role of faith-based institutions has also not been under focus when we talk of rape. Indeed the silence that surrounds male and female sexuality is what makes it so difficult to address the problems of rape and sexual abuse.

This is a society in swift transition. Are we able to drive the social changes or do we allow them to drive us?

By Kalyani Shankar

What is ailing the Congress? More than anything else, it is the widening communication gap, which is responsible for the present state of affairs. Gone are the days when a scribe or a worker could walk into the house of a leader and meet him. Day by day the leaders are moving away from the public and living in their secure bungalows, while the disconnect gets wider and wider. The Congress leaders are expected to propagate the achievements of the party but they have missed every opportunity to strike a rapport with the electorate. This was evident during the Anna Hazare agitation, the Ramdev movement, facing Kejriwal, or during the recent gang rape flash protests at Raisina Hills. The ruling party should introspect why people are taking to streets on sensitive issues. While facing turbulent movements the Congress leaders had been reticent and reluctant to face the issues.

If the Congress wants to come back to power, the first thing it should do is to ensure that its leaders are accessible to the public, as well as the Congress workers, and also sensitive to the issues raised by the public. Although the ministers are supposed to visit the party headquarters when they visit any state this is hardly followed. Even the members of Parliament complain that the ministers do not bother to reply to their letters let alone meet them.

The Chintan Shivir — the brainstorming session at Jaipur — this weekend is a good thing, as every party should introspect about the past as well as the future and attempt course correction. The Congress had attempted to engage in such introspection, particularly after Sonia Gandhi took over as President. There was the Pachmarhi session in 1998, a few months after she took over, and the Shimla conclave in 2003, which enabled the party to go for a coalition experiment. The credit should go to Sonia Gandhi for bringing the Congress back to power in 2004 and 2009. Can the Congress do a hat trick in 2014?

Will the Jaipur meeting come up with something new? Will the party and the government go hand in hand in tackling issues? This is the first such brainstorming session where the Gandhi scion Rahul Gandhi will take the centre stage. The meeting is to project Rahul as the party’s future and a signal of the generational change as more than half the invitees are below 45 and could be termed as the Rahul’s team for the 2014. The failure or success of Jaipur Chintan Shivir depends largely on Rahul Gandhi whose “larger role” in Congress is often talked about. Rahul has already been made in-charge of party’s all-powerful Election Coordination Committee, which has a key contribution at the conclave.

The introspection is required at a time when the Congress is struggling to gain back its lead role. The party lost power in Gujarat in 1995, in Uttar Pradesh in 1989, in Bihar in 1990, and in Tripura in 1993. It has been out of power in West Bengal for more than three decades barring the brief stint as the Trinamool Congress’ ally. In Tamil Nadu, the party has not come to power on its own for well over four decades. Elections are scheduled to at least nine state assemblies where the stakes are high for the Congress. The Congress should also worry about the diminishing role of national parties and the rise of regional satraps.

The Congress has identified five broad subjects including future political challenges, emerging socio economic scenario, international situation, women empowerment and organizational strengths for discussion. Youth and women are the two large sections the Congress is targeting at the Chintan Shivir. That is why the women empowerment and larger youth representation are given at the Chintan Shivir. The recent Delhi gang rape incident has accentuated the need and the focus would be on the criminal justice reforms.

Tackling political challenges is very important for the survival of the party. This includes communalism and unity in diversity, the two old planks of the Congress.

Apart from holding on to the present allies finding new ones is also a big task. Linked to that is how to expand the party’s base and attract the youth. The meeting would also discuss how to show case the two new initiatives — cash transfer system and food security. Both need to be propagated to the public before the next elections. As the Congress has come to terms with the need for economic reforms the next challenge is how to cut the huge subsidy, which is running into thousands of crores. On the foreign policy segment, the recent violations of the Indo-Pak Line of Control would figure and the party would assert to go with the public mood.

Organisational strength is what the Congress should worry about, as the party has not been able to build at the gross root level. The party high command is aware of this drawback but had done nothing to improve the situation at the ground level. Several state units have no heads and no PCCs. There has been talk about major organizational changes but nothing has been announced so far.

The Chintan Shivir is being held at a time when the party and the government are facing so much pubic anger against the lack of governance. Rahul should not miss this opportunity of showing his leadership and what tricks he has up his sleeve to bring the party back to power. It is imperative for the Congress to decide its direction with hardly 18 months to go for the next general elections. How effectively this will be communicated is what will decide the future of the Congress party and to a large extent future of the Gandhi dynasty. (IPA Service)